Can I Take You Higher?

So ... I haven't listened to commercial radio in about 12 years, mostly because of the band Creed.  I go with my CDs or the Pod; if the radio is on it's tuned to NPR.

Yesterday, though, I finished up an audiobook and wanted some music so I thought I would give the radio a holler and see what's up. They can't still be playing Creed, can they?

The experience was kind of like looking up an old flame--maybe meeting for coffee--and suddenly remembering why you wanted that person out of your life.

I mean GOOD LORD. 

I flipped through about six radio stations, and I swear to you: They were all playing the same two songs. This is not an exaggeration. This is not a joke. It is literally true.  Yesterday, at about 3:43 p.m., every area radio station was airing four minutes of Billy Joel scolding someone for partying too much, and a song by John Cougar Mellencamp that seemed to be about how much he misses the 1930s, even though he is not that old.

Dear Mr. Joel: The person you are yelling at sounds way more fun than you are.

Dear Mr. Cougarcamp: Please do some editing and have Jack CHEW the damn chili dog.

Can we not, as a species, do this? I understand if we can't eliminate nuclear weapons or reverse global warming, but can't we at least have something decent to listen to while we disintegrate?

Seriously, we are in the dawn of a new era. It's the 21st Century. This is FUTURE for crying out loud. The clock is ticking people, and we have to get this situation rectified before we make contact with intelligent extra-terrestrial life. Who knows? Maybe they already found us. Maybe they have the answers, the super pill that cures all our illnesses, the super sandwich that ends world hunger.  A way to forget who 'The Situation' is.

Maybe they're hot. 

Or at least funny.

How many blue-skinned, triple-nippled beauties have veered away from our planet because their adorable pointy ears were assaulted with "Little Pink Houses" and the love theme from Titanic?

We could have been spockin' out for decades already... We could have been kicking back right now, chewin' the bacca with new friends from beyond the stars....

But no, we'd rather listen to Nickelback.


Sigh.

Prophecy!

Of course it all began as a joke, but perhaps it was prophecy:

From The Onion:

Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'

January 17, 2001

ISSUE 43•01 ISSUE 37•01


12.04.08 WASHINGTON, DC–Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that "our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."

President-elect Bush vows that "together, we can put the triumphs of the recent past behind us."

"My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."

Bush swore to do "everything in [his] power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.


During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.


Read the rest here:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-pros,464/