Yesterday, though, I finished up an audiobook and wanted some music so I thought I would give the radio a holler and see what's up. They can't still be playing Creed, can they?
The experience was kind of like looking up an old flame--maybe meeting for coffee--and suddenly remembering why you wanted that person out of your life.
I mean GOOD LORD.
I flipped through about six radio stations, and I swear to you: They were all playing the same two songs. This is not an exaggeration. This is not a joke. It is literally true. Yesterday, at about 3:43 p.m., every area radio station was airing four minutes of Billy Joel scolding someone for partying too much, and a song by John Cougar Mellencamp that seemed to be about how much he misses the 1930s, even though he is not that old.
Dear Mr. Joel: The person you are yelling at sounds way more fun than you are.
Dear Mr. Cougarcamp: Please do some editing and have Jack CHEW the damn chili dog.
Can we not, as a species, do this? I understand if we can't eliminate nuclear weapons or reverse global warming, but can't we at least have something decent to listen to while we disintegrate?
Seriously, we are in the dawn of a new era. It's the 21st Century. This is FUTURE for crying out loud. The clock is ticking people, and we have to get this situation rectified before we make contact with intelligent extra-terrestrial life. Who knows? Maybe they already found us. Maybe they have the answers, the super pill that cures all our illnesses, the super sandwich that ends world hunger. A way to forget who 'The Situation' is.
Maybe they're hot.
Or at least funny.
How many blue-skinned, triple-nippled beauties have veered away from our planet because their adorable pointy ears were assaulted with "Little Pink Houses" and the love theme from Titanic?
We could have been spockin' out for decades already... We could have been kicking back right now, chewin' the bacca with new friends from beyond the stars....
But no, we'd rather listen to Nickelback.
Sigh.
Awesome blog, Jim! I totally agree. I mean America has contributed some of the most wonderful music to the world. Why isn't THAT being played? And, why is it that the most soulless, tasteless people seem to be in charge of what gets play these days? I don't listen to the radio except for NPR, because of this! Anyway, thanks for the awesome post! It was fun to read.
ReplyDeleteHilarious blog, chum! But playing devil's advocate, it also crossed my mind that Creed may be saving our planet from tri-nipple invasion and enslavement.
ReplyDeleteAny highly-evolved alien species whose deep space espionage unearthed "With Arms Wide Open" probably thought something like, "Frell me, these apes don't even know how to write a decent song! Let's wait a few millenia to take over their planet. Hopefully by then this godforsaken monkeyball will actually be worth invading."