Thursday, April 19, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Why me?
When things go wrong, when something hurts, it's typical for this question to come to mind,:
"why me?" "Why is this happening to me?"
It is useful and instructive to also ask that question when something good happens, when you what you want, in those sparkling moments of clarity when you realize you are breathing, that millions of cells and working together miraculously to keep you alive, feeling, thinking, tasting, hearing, seeing, touching, and learning. That you won the lottery, got the new job you wanted, had absolutely transcendent sex, touched someone's heart, remembered the lyrics to a favorite song, bit into a warm soft chocolate chip cookie, finished off an Orange Julius in your favorite Viking helmet while washed up entertainers of the 80s and 90s frolic with black magik snow globes in the distance ... (yes, this has happened, and yes, it was awesome).
Ask, "Why me?" when you look into the eyes of your truest love and remember that you can't answer that question anymore easily in moments of joy than you can in moments of pain. Whether you suspect it might be chance, or work, or luck, or grace, you can't know how the infinitesimal congregations of details, wrong turns, serendipitous delays, triumphs and mistakes led you to be in that moment, in that place, with this person.
Remember in those moments of joy, that it could just as easily be a moment of pain. That you could be one tick of the clock away from disaster you didn't cause and don't deserve, wondering "why me?" And then turn, realize that at that moment--there is someone begging that question in sorrow, in crisis, and reach out, do what you can, even if at that moment it's just a kind word or a facebook comment, or go to them. See yourself in them. That could be you, if it was you, what would you want them to do for you? Can you deny help to others that you would accept from them if you were in there place? Be grateful for what you have, remember that you don't "deserve" your joy anymore than you "deserve" your pain. Life doesn't come with promises, guarantees, or warranties. There's nowhere to go to get your money back, and the only help we have is each other--and that responsibility to be good to each other is the most sacred thing there is.
In your moments of joy ask, "Why me?' remember that you are alive and able to give love, remember how good it feels to connect, to give, to care for others, and be grateful for the opportunity to do it again and again. You couldn't help if you were crippled, if you were starving, if you were dying of thirst or in intensive care. You can help because you already have what you need. Thus, the opportunity to give is a gift itself.
Ah, why me?
"why me?" "Why is this happening to me?"
It is useful and instructive to also ask that question when something good happens, when you what you want, in those sparkling moments of clarity when you realize you are breathing, that millions of cells and working together miraculously to keep you alive, feeling, thinking, tasting, hearing, seeing, touching, and learning. That you won the lottery, got the new job you wanted, had absolutely transcendent sex, touched someone's heart, remembered the lyrics to a favorite song, bit into a warm soft chocolate chip cookie, finished off an Orange Julius in your favorite Viking helmet while washed up entertainers of the 80s and 90s frolic with black magik snow globes in the distance ... (yes, this has happened, and yes, it was awesome).
Ask, "Why me?" when you look into the eyes of your truest love and remember that you can't answer that question anymore easily in moments of joy than you can in moments of pain. Whether you suspect it might be chance, or work, or luck, or grace, you can't know how the infinitesimal congregations of details, wrong turns, serendipitous delays, triumphs and mistakes led you to be in that moment, in that place, with this person.
Remember in those moments of joy, that it could just as easily be a moment of pain. That you could be one tick of the clock away from disaster you didn't cause and don't deserve, wondering "why me?" And then turn, realize that at that moment--there is someone begging that question in sorrow, in crisis, and reach out, do what you can, even if at that moment it's just a kind word or a facebook comment, or go to them. See yourself in them. That could be you, if it was you, what would you want them to do for you? Can you deny help to others that you would accept from them if you were in there place? Be grateful for what you have, remember that you don't "deserve" your joy anymore than you "deserve" your pain. Life doesn't come with promises, guarantees, or warranties. There's nowhere to go to get your money back, and the only help we have is each other--and that responsibility to be good to each other is the most sacred thing there is.
In your moments of joy ask, "Why me?' remember that you are alive and able to give love, remember how good it feels to connect, to give, to care for others, and be grateful for the opportunity to do it again and again. You couldn't help if you were crippled, if you were starving, if you were dying of thirst or in intensive care. You can help because you already have what you need. Thus, the opportunity to give is a gift itself.
Ah, why me?
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Awesome Quote
I love this story, just came across it and thought I'd share. Please note, the "Jim" below is not me, which is kind of shocking:
“Once a little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it. I loved it. I answer all my children’s letters — sometimes very hastily — but this one I lingered over. I sent him a card and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it. I wrote, “Dear Jim: I loved your card.” Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said, “Jim loved your card so much he ate it.” That to me was one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received. He didn’t care that it was an original Maurice Sendak drawing or anything. He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.”
― Maurice Sendak
“Once a little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it. I loved it. I answer all my children’s letters — sometimes very hastily — but this one I lingered over. I sent him a card and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it. I wrote, “Dear Jim: I loved your card.” Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said, “Jim loved your card so much he ate it.” That to me was one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received. He didn’t care that it was an original Maurice Sendak drawing or anything. He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.”
― Maurice Sendak
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Good Morning America! And Go Fuck Yourself!
Have you been following this case of the guy in Florida who shot an unarmed black teenager who was walking home with a bag of skittles? The police even told the dude to leave the kid alone, and he followed him and shot him—and HE HAS NOT BEEN CHARGED WITH ANY CRIME. Because under Florida law, it’s legal to murder someone if you feel threatened.
More here: http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/20/10780286-florida-stand-your-ground-law-could-complicate-trayvon-martin-teen-shooting-case
So called “justifiable homicides” have tripled in that state since this law has been passed. I am sick over this. America will not be worth the dirt it is built on until it lets go of it’s disgusting obsession with firearms. A person who is not a law enforcement officer who carries a weapon is nothing but a murderer to be looking for an excuse. I am so furious and disgusted with that something like this can happen in the United States. We should ALL be deeply ashamed. A person with a gun is not some “citizen hero” defending his community and family from evil—they are a threat to themselves, their families, and their communities. It’s no coincidence that gun owners are 8 times more likely to be victims of crimes than non-gun owners. These weapons, these hazards, create a FALSE sense of security, and nothing more. A person is more likely to be struck by lightning several times over than to actually defend themselves against an attacker with a firearm. Yet, 6 to 8 children are accidentally shot every day in this country—note that doesn’t include intentional murders or suicides. No one would put their money into an enterprise that lost so much while gaining so little, but then again, in a capitalism-obsessed society, money is valued far more than human life. We see that every day when environmental protection, health care, and safety regulations are shot down for the sake of making sure rich people don’t have to pay taxes on their yachts and other stupid shit. We are in a country that lets people die for the sake of letting an uninformed minority of “gun owners” keep their toys. We are a country that takes to the streets in rage over a few extra bucks in taxes to heal the sick, but yawns and changes the channel back to the Simpsons while children are murdered in cold blood for no reason.
Good morning America … And go fuck your fat ass with a flagpole.
More here: http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/20/10780286-florida-stand-your-ground-law-could-complicate-trayvon-martin-teen-shooting-case
So called “justifiable homicides” have tripled in that state since this law has been passed. I am sick over this. America will not be worth the dirt it is built on until it lets go of it’s disgusting obsession with firearms. A person who is not a law enforcement officer who carries a weapon is nothing but a murderer to be looking for an excuse. I am so furious and disgusted with that something like this can happen in the United States. We should ALL be deeply ashamed. A person with a gun is not some “citizen hero” defending his community and family from evil—they are a threat to themselves, their families, and their communities. It’s no coincidence that gun owners are 8 times more likely to be victims of crimes than non-gun owners. These weapons, these hazards, create a FALSE sense of security, and nothing more. A person is more likely to be struck by lightning several times over than to actually defend themselves against an attacker with a firearm. Yet, 6 to 8 children are accidentally shot every day in this country—note that doesn’t include intentional murders or suicides. No one would put their money into an enterprise that lost so much while gaining so little, but then again, in a capitalism-obsessed society, money is valued far more than human life. We see that every day when environmental protection, health care, and safety regulations are shot down for the sake of making sure rich people don’t have to pay taxes on their yachts and other stupid shit. We are in a country that lets people die for the sake of letting an uninformed minority of “gun owners” keep their toys. We are a country that takes to the streets in rage over a few extra bucks in taxes to heal the sick, but yawns and changes the channel back to the Simpsons while children are murdered in cold blood for no reason.
Good morning America … And go fuck your fat ass with a flagpole.
Monday, February 27, 2012
The Tour Guide's Toast
The Tour Guide's Toast
At the end of the day's designs,
after the reading of the signs,
after the sights and sounds,
while laughter yet abounds,
the guide rose from his chair,
he said to the travellers there,
"As your grateful host,
"I would like to propose a toast" ...
"Past the clockwork pyramid,
through the wireless light,
beside the feline bride--
I drink to the light of the moon.
Before the lady of fangs,
under blues that fade to red,
when sinuous fox tails twitch
'round the golden apple, your stolen kiss--
I drink to riddles in the dark.
Stripping away the surface,
turning loose the naked growl,
beside the roughneck parliament,
savoring the texture of night,
I drink to the ponderous delictum.
In the wink of the shimmering eye,
among the huddled whisperers,
above the blustering bastards,
clutching the hand of the holy sinner,
I drink to riotous love.
Drink with me, to riotous love".
The travellers all looked puzzled,
a few uncomfortably shuffled,
then a lady tilted her glass,
a young man began to laugh,
and the guide returned to his seat,
his work at last complete.
At the end of the day's designs,
after the reading of the signs,
after the sights and sounds,
while laughter yet abounds,
the guide rose from his chair,
he said to the travellers there,
"As your grateful host,
"I would like to propose a toast" ...
"Past the clockwork pyramid,
through the wireless light,
beside the feline bride--
I drink to the light of the moon.
Before the lady of fangs,
under blues that fade to red,
when sinuous fox tails twitch
'round the golden apple, your stolen kiss--
I drink to riddles in the dark.
Stripping away the surface,
turning loose the naked growl,
beside the roughneck parliament,
savoring the texture of night,
I drink to the ponderous delictum.
In the wink of the shimmering eye,
among the huddled whisperers,
above the blustering bastards,
clutching the hand of the holy sinner,
I drink to riotous love.
Drink with me, to riotous love".
The travellers all looked puzzled,
a few uncomfortably shuffled,
then a lady tilted her glass,
a young man began to laugh,
and the guide returned to his seat,
his work at last complete.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Inquisitive Boomerang
So.
I like to ask people random and delicious questions. I think little details like, "What's your favorite smell?" reveal more than the person who answers realizes, or perhaps they know the totality of what they are sharing and it's all a plot and maybe that's even better, who knows?
Anyway. I fired this one off to a friend the other day and I think it is blogworthy. I asked her, "What is the best thing about being you?" I wanted to know--of all the things that go into being the person (you) are--what do (you) enjoy the most.
I will not share her answer, that would be rude. However, she fired the question back at me like an inquisitive boomerang (oh my God--that would be a fabulous band name) and I would like to share my own answer, which was this:
I think the best thing about being me is that I have a certain fearlessness when it comes to people. I have been hurt and backstabbed so many times that I know I can handle it, I can survive it. I don’t like it, but it won’t destroy me, so I am free to take a chance on people, and it’s led me to relationships of all kinds—friend, love, family—with some wonderful people who have opened up new worlds to me. There may be other things of course that I like and don’t like about being me, but right now anyway, this is what I am enjoying most about being me.
So now, my tasty chums and chummetts and chumasauruses... tell me, what's your favorite thing about being you? EXPOSE yourselves to me, my darling misfits.
I like to ask people random and delicious questions. I think little details like, "What's your favorite smell?" reveal more than the person who answers realizes, or perhaps they know the totality of what they are sharing and it's all a plot and maybe that's even better, who knows?
Anyway. I fired this one off to a friend the other day and I think it is blogworthy. I asked her, "What is the best thing about being you?" I wanted to know--of all the things that go into being the person (you) are--what do (you) enjoy the most.
I will not share her answer, that would be rude. However, she fired the question back at me like an inquisitive boomerang (oh my God--that would be a fabulous band name) and I would like to share my own answer, which was this:
I think the best thing about being me is that I have a certain fearlessness when it comes to people. I have been hurt and backstabbed so many times that I know I can handle it, I can survive it. I don’t like it, but it won’t destroy me, so I am free to take a chance on people, and it’s led me to relationships of all kinds—friend, love, family—with some wonderful people who have opened up new worlds to me. There may be other things of course that I like and don’t like about being me, but right now anyway, this is what I am enjoying most about being me.
So now, my tasty chums and chummetts and chumasauruses... tell me, what's your favorite thing about being you? EXPOSE yourselves to me, my darling misfits.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Jolly Good Apocalypse
Because I like lists,and don't have a lot of time to write today, but still want to post something--here is my list of songs about death and destruction that have really happy music.
Some of these are so upbeat that many people who don't even realize how dark the lyrics are:
1."It's the End of the World as We Know It" by REM
2. "Cities in Dust" by Souixsie and the Banshees
3. "Rock the Casbah" by The Clash
4. "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen
5. "99 Red Balloons" by Nena
6. "Four Winds" by Bright Eyes
7. "Excitable Boy" by Warren Zevon
8. "Today" by Smashing Pumpkins
9. "Pumped up Kicks" by Foster the People
10. "Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo
11. "People Who Died" by Jim Carroll Band
12. "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" by The Beatles
13. "1999" by Prince
14. "Marie Provost" by Nick Lowe
15. "I Think I Am Going to Kill Myself" by Elton John
16. "Son of Sam" by Elliot Smith
17. "The Rake's Song" by The Decemberists
18. "Last Stop This Town" by The Eels
19. "Deanna" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
20. "The Curse of Milhaven" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
There's my list. Can you think of other songs that seem to laugh in the face of doom?
Some of these are so upbeat that many people who don't even realize how dark the lyrics are:
1."It's the End of the World as We Know It" by REM
2. "Cities in Dust" by Souixsie and the Banshees
3. "Rock the Casbah" by The Clash
4. "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen
5. "99 Red Balloons" by Nena
6. "Four Winds" by Bright Eyes
7. "Excitable Boy" by Warren Zevon
8. "Today" by Smashing Pumpkins
9. "Pumped up Kicks" by Foster the People
10. "Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo
11. "People Who Died" by Jim Carroll Band
12. "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" by The Beatles
13. "1999" by Prince
14. "Marie Provost" by Nick Lowe
15. "I Think I Am Going to Kill Myself" by Elton John
16. "Son of Sam" by Elliot Smith
17. "The Rake's Song" by The Decemberists
18. "Last Stop This Town" by The Eels
19. "Deanna" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
20. "The Curse of Milhaven" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
There's my list. Can you think of other songs that seem to laugh in the face of doom?
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
"Beauty" ... but where's the truth?
So ... I googled "beauty" this morning and clicked "images" just to see what would come up.
I was disappointed to see every image I scrolled through was of virtually identical looking women applying make up. That was really disappointing. I mean .. I expected to see some of that sort of thing, but I was shocked that was all I got. With the untold trillions of images floating about on the intertubes, I would think that a search for a term as wild and numinous as "beauty" would generate more than one idea.
Nothing wrong with make up or women of any sort, but I just expected ... variety ... people--yes, but different types of people, and I thought maybe some landscapes or artwork or the moon or babies or tattoos, absract colorful blobs, a gravestone, a perfectly composed taco, Mother Theresa rocking a leper to sleep, naked vampires wrestling a giant squid on the rings of Saturn--all blood and tentacles and teeth--maybe even some of the identical looking women doing something BESIDES applying make up for crying out loud!
I thought I would get a glimpse into what the teeming millions in their secret hearts call "beautiful." But no, I got a bunch of fucking ads for Estee Lauder.
Come on mortals! You can do better than this. Give me more than lame commerce, uninspired assimilation, and outright falsehood. Stop lying to yourselves! I know what you seek in your heart of hearts because I seek it too! Grab that beauty, squeeze it, and drink it bitches! Sink your teeth in it, spread beauty on the ground and roll in it, pour beauty over your head and let it run down your skin like shed blood! Find it, my robots! Notice it, revel in it, steal peeks at it when no one's watching, poke it on Facebook, celebrate it, ACKOWLEDGE it, know it when you see it, take a picture--it'll last longer--and whatever do you don't lock it away to die and never ever forget it!
I was disappointed to see every image I scrolled through was of virtually identical looking women applying make up. That was really disappointing. I mean .. I expected to see some of that sort of thing, but I was shocked that was all I got. With the untold trillions of images floating about on the intertubes, I would think that a search for a term as wild and numinous as "beauty" would generate more than one idea.
Nothing wrong with make up or women of any sort, but I just expected ... variety ... people--yes, but different types of people, and I thought maybe some landscapes or artwork or the moon or babies or tattoos, absract colorful blobs, a gravestone, a perfectly composed taco, Mother Theresa rocking a leper to sleep, naked vampires wrestling a giant squid on the rings of Saturn--all blood and tentacles and teeth--maybe even some of the identical looking women doing something BESIDES applying make up for crying out loud!
I thought I would get a glimpse into what the teeming millions in their secret hearts call "beautiful." But no, I got a bunch of fucking ads for Estee Lauder.
Come on mortals! You can do better than this. Give me more than lame commerce, uninspired assimilation, and outright falsehood. Stop lying to yourselves! I know what you seek in your heart of hearts because I seek it too! Grab that beauty, squeeze it, and drink it bitches! Sink your teeth in it, spread beauty on the ground and roll in it, pour beauty over your head and let it run down your skin like shed blood! Find it, my robots! Notice it, revel in it, steal peeks at it when no one's watching, poke it on Facebook, celebrate it, ACKOWLEDGE it, know it when you see it, take a picture--it'll last longer--and whatever do you don't lock it away to die and never ever forget it!
Friday, February 3, 2012
The Pull List
In honor of the I Kick Your Face Comicast of which I had the honor to be a part, I am posting my list of comic titles I am currently reading:
Animal Man
Aquaman
Avengers X-Sanction (Mini series)
Batgirl
Batman
Batwoman
Birds of Prey
Catwoman
Incredible Hulk
Justice League
Justice League Dark
Moon Knight
Red Hood and the Outlaws
Supergirl
Swamp Thing
Uncanny X-Force
Uncanny X-Men
Wolverine and the X-Men
Wonder Woman
Also, I am reading the following series in trades:
Fables
Scalped
Y the Last Man
I was reading about 10 other series that I decided to drop because they sucked.
Animal Man
Aquaman
Avengers X-Sanction (Mini series)
Batgirl
Batman
Batwoman
Birds of Prey
Catwoman
Incredible Hulk
Justice League
Justice League Dark
Moon Knight
Red Hood and the Outlaws
Supergirl
Swamp Thing
Uncanny X-Force
Uncanny X-Men
Wolverine and the X-Men
Wonder Woman
Also, I am reading the following series in trades:
Fables
Scalped
Y the Last Man
I was reading about 10 other series that I decided to drop because they sucked.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Resources for Freelancers, Arts Entrepreneurs, Small Business Owners, Start Ups
So last night I attended a seminar with my chum on creative/arts entrepreneurship and freelancing. They provided a lot of material that I see fit to share with my friends who work in the arts, do freelance work, or own or are working to own their own businesses.
Here's some important links to organizations that can help you, network, get information, get tax services, obtain loans and other funding, or provide education:
The Law Project
http://www.thelawproject.org/
The Law Project provides pro bono (free) legal assistance to nonprofit organizations working in low income communities in the greater Chicago area and to emerging entrepreneurs on a wide variety of transactional/business issues.
Indiemade
http://www.indiemade.com/
IndieMade offers the simplest, most affordable way for indie entrepreneurs to build an online presence. For a low monthly fee, IndieMade helps crafters, artists, photographers, DIYers, and artisans of all types easily produce creative websites. We live and breathe websites for artists.
ACCION
http://www.accionchicago.org/
ACCION Chicago is a small business lender, dedicated to providing financing and business education to small businesses. We offer loans of up to $20,000 for start-up businesses and $50,000 for established businesses. We also offer Credit Builder loans between $500 and $2,500.
Rock Star CPA
http://www.rockstarcpa.com/
Rockstar CPA exists for one reason: there are individuals and businesses working in creative and entertainment fields who need extra care and attention. They are underserved by traditional accounting firms that don't understand the complexities of your very unique business. They walk into the major national tax chains and walk out confused or frustrated after being told that what they do and what they spend money on is not a valid business.
They are not understood and they don't understand.
Rockstar CPA has spent years developing a careful approach and a complete practice. We have formed the business as a B-Corporation, which means it's in our blood to be sustainable and an active contributor to our community. We love our clients and want to help them succeed above all else.
Northside Freelance Network
http://northsidefreelancers.net/
the North Side Freelance Network is a collaborative resource and community-building tool for current and fledgling freelancers and solopreneurs.
NSFN aims to create a community on the far northeast side of Chicago and the near North suburbs that will:
Create both online and in-person spaces for people to meet
Help freelancers sustain or grow their businesses
Be a resource for those who are contemplating the leap to self-employment
Offer mutual support as well as opportunities for sharing ideas, collaborative projects, and referrals
Independent Writers of Chicago
http://www.iwoc.org/index.htm
IWOC is a nonprofit professional association of freelance writers who work primarily throughout the Chicago metropolitan area. IWOC members serve large corporations, small businesses, and not-for-profit organizations; together they represent a broad range of writing talents and specialties.
The Institute for Arts Entrepreneurship
http://www.instituteforartsentrepreneurship.com/
Founded in 2008, The Institute for Arts Entrepreneurship™ (The IAE) is a Chicago-based educational institution, a recognized Illinois 501c(3) organization, committed to helping artists’ around-the-world to be able to answer one essential question:
How can I develop the knowledge and skills to create a successful, meaningful and sustainable life in today's world?
Our essential question is tied to the belief that artists, with proper training, have the capacity to:
1. Achieve sustainable self-sufficiency using their artistry
2. Stimulate local economies through their creation of “Main Street” creative enterprises
3. Contribute to bridging our society’s “ingenuity gap” (the space between problems that arise and our ability to solve them) which has grown at an alarming rate in business, scientific research, education, the environment and world affairs
4. Make dramatic contributions to our national security through international cultural understanding and exchange
coLAB Evanston
http://www.colabevanston.com/
coLab Evanston provides shared working space for companies, individuals, and organizations. We are a member-only community, driven by the need for collaboration and interpersonal interaction in a work-centered environment. coLab is ideal for individuals or teams who are tired of working from a home office or public, coffee-shop environment.
Our members are entrepreneurs, not-for-profit leaders, web designers, programmers, sales people, and employees of large companies and organizations. The common factor uniting these individuals in the coLab community is the need for "a space apart" to get things done
Illinois Department of Insurance
http://insurance.illinois.gov/
Provides information on health insurance for independent workers.
Northside Community Federal Credit Union
http://www.northsidecommunityfcu.org/index.html
Full service federal credit union that provides small business loans and other services, with a "long history of serving people who are not using traditional banking and financial institutions," and a committment to social and economic justice.
Industrial Council of Nearwest Chicago
http://www.industrialcouncil.com/
ICNC advocates for interest of business on Chicago’s nearwest side. ICNC strengthens business by providing business development assistance as well information and links to public and private resources and services. ICNC, an employer-driven organization develops programs and services in response to the needs of the companies it represents.
Illinois Small Business Development Center
http://wpdi.clcillinois.edu/sbdc/
Offering one-on-one consulting targeted to small businesses and entrepreneurs, we are dedicated to providing you the best advice and resources. We are your trusted business partner offering expert advice on business plans and development, loan readiness, financial, marketing, and operations through a variety of business workshops to sharpen your skills.
Freelancer's Union
http://www.freelancersunion.org/chicago/legal.html
Support system to help a growing independent workforce, including assistance with health insurance, political action, community building, and other resources.
This might also be helpful:
Tax To-Do List for the Self-Employed
1. Choose your business entity.
2. Get a federal employer tax ID number.
3. Kepp track of your start up expenses.
4. Determine if you will be able to take a deduction for business use of your home.
5. Estimate your tax liability for 2012 and pay quarterly.
6. Understand the responsibilities of an employer.
7. Find a tax preparer that is familiar with your industry.
8. Keep very meticulous records.
Source: Center for Economic Progress, http://www.economicprogress.org/
Here's some important links to organizations that can help you, network, get information, get tax services, obtain loans and other funding, or provide education:
The Law Project
http://www.thelawproject.org/
The Law Project provides pro bono (free) legal assistance to nonprofit organizations working in low income communities in the greater Chicago area and to emerging entrepreneurs on a wide variety of transactional/business issues.
Indiemade
http://www.indiemade.com/
IndieMade offers the simplest, most affordable way for indie entrepreneurs to build an online presence. For a low monthly fee, IndieMade helps crafters, artists, photographers, DIYers, and artisans of all types easily produce creative websites. We live and breathe websites for artists.
ACCION
http://www.accionchicago.org/
ACCION Chicago is a small business lender, dedicated to providing financing and business education to small businesses. We offer loans of up to $20,000 for start-up businesses and $50,000 for established businesses. We also offer Credit Builder loans between $500 and $2,500.
Rock Star CPA
http://www.rockstarcpa.com/
Rockstar CPA exists for one reason: there are individuals and businesses working in creative and entertainment fields who need extra care and attention. They are underserved by traditional accounting firms that don't understand the complexities of your very unique business. They walk into the major national tax chains and walk out confused or frustrated after being told that what they do and what they spend money on is not a valid business.
They are not understood and they don't understand.
Rockstar CPA has spent years developing a careful approach and a complete practice. We have formed the business as a B-Corporation, which means it's in our blood to be sustainable and an active contributor to our community. We love our clients and want to help them succeed above all else.
Northside Freelance Network
http://northsidefreelancers.net/
the North Side Freelance Network is a collaborative resource and community-building tool for current and fledgling freelancers and solopreneurs.
NSFN aims to create a community on the far northeast side of Chicago and the near North suburbs that will:
Create both online and in-person spaces for people to meet
Help freelancers sustain or grow their businesses
Be a resource for those who are contemplating the leap to self-employment
Offer mutual support as well as opportunities for sharing ideas, collaborative projects, and referrals
Independent Writers of Chicago
http://www.iwoc.org/index.htm
IWOC is a nonprofit professional association of freelance writers who work primarily throughout the Chicago metropolitan area. IWOC members serve large corporations, small businesses, and not-for-profit organizations; together they represent a broad range of writing talents and specialties.
The Institute for Arts Entrepreneurship
http://www.instituteforartsentrepreneurship.com/
Founded in 2008, The Institute for Arts Entrepreneurship™ (The IAE) is a Chicago-based educational institution, a recognized Illinois 501c(3) organization, committed to helping artists’ around-the-world to be able to answer one essential question:
How can I develop the knowledge and skills to create a successful, meaningful and sustainable life in today's world?
Our essential question is tied to the belief that artists, with proper training, have the capacity to:
1. Achieve sustainable self-sufficiency using their artistry
2. Stimulate local economies through their creation of “Main Street” creative enterprises
3. Contribute to bridging our society’s “ingenuity gap” (the space between problems that arise and our ability to solve them) which has grown at an alarming rate in business, scientific research, education, the environment and world affairs
4. Make dramatic contributions to our national security through international cultural understanding and exchange
coLAB Evanston
http://www.colabevanston.com/
coLab Evanston provides shared working space for companies, individuals, and organizations. We are a member-only community, driven by the need for collaboration and interpersonal interaction in a work-centered environment. coLab is ideal for individuals or teams who are tired of working from a home office or public, coffee-shop environment.
Our members are entrepreneurs, not-for-profit leaders, web designers, programmers, sales people, and employees of large companies and organizations. The common factor uniting these individuals in the coLab community is the need for "a space apart" to get things done
Illinois Department of Insurance
http://insurance.illinois.gov/
Provides information on health insurance for independent workers.
Northside Community Federal Credit Union
http://www.northsidecommunityfcu.org/index.html
Full service federal credit union that provides small business loans and other services, with a "long history of serving people who are not using traditional banking and financial institutions," and a committment to social and economic justice.
Industrial Council of Nearwest Chicago
http://www.industrialcouncil.com/
ICNC advocates for interest of business on Chicago’s nearwest side. ICNC strengthens business by providing business development assistance as well information and links to public and private resources and services. ICNC, an employer-driven organization develops programs and services in response to the needs of the companies it represents.
Illinois Small Business Development Center
http://wpdi.clcillinois.edu/sbdc/
Offering one-on-one consulting targeted to small businesses and entrepreneurs, we are dedicated to providing you the best advice and resources. We are your trusted business partner offering expert advice on business plans and development, loan readiness, financial, marketing, and operations through a variety of business workshops to sharpen your skills.
Freelancer's Union
http://www.freelancersunion.org/chicago/legal.html
Support system to help a growing independent workforce, including assistance with health insurance, political action, community building, and other resources.
This might also be helpful:
Tax To-Do List for the Self-Employed
1. Choose your business entity.
2. Get a federal employer tax ID number.
3. Kepp track of your start up expenses.
4. Determine if you will be able to take a deduction for business use of your home.
5. Estimate your tax liability for 2012 and pay quarterly.
6. Understand the responsibilities of an employer.
7. Find a tax preparer that is familiar with your industry.
8. Keep very meticulous records.
Source: Center for Economic Progress, http://www.economicprogress.org/
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Grrrr....
So, I've seen this flapping about on Facebook. I've been trying to avoid commenting on political matters on the internet because, what's the point. Even if I awaken some conservative on facebook to how silly their beliefs are, what difference will that make?
I continue to advocate for my own political beliefs through my vote, petitions, and letters to representatives rather than on facebook. That said this particular item caught my eye, and it pissed me off, so I am venting about it here instead.
This is the item in question:
"An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never fai...led a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan". All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little..
The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed. It could not be any simpler than that.
Remember, there IS a test coming up. The 2012 elections.
These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation."
This is my take on it:
Someone who defines Obama's policies as Socialism should not be taking economics 101, not teaching it.
The experiment would have been a more accurate depiction of working life in America had he never given the students that worked the hardest any grade at all, while giving straight A's to those who never came to class, seeing as more than 90% of American millionaires are born millionaires--and currently, the education necessary to obtain a high paying job requires most people to take on decades worth of crippling debt.
The idea that one works hard and therefore achieves wealth is mythological. I've known personally people that struggled to put food on the table and pay the rent despite working an average 60 hours a week at three different jobs. We do not reward work in this country, we reward investment. In fact, a recent body of research found that upward economic mobility is far more difficult in the United States than in Europe or Canada.
Achieving wealth through work or innovation does happen,but that is extremely rare, such as with Steve Jobs, for instance. As for Mr. Jobs, if the rest of society was not able to afford IPods, Iphones and what have you--he would have died a pauper. He got a little bit of every Iphone sold, thanks to his employees who designed, built and sold them and the customers that bought them. Wealth trickles up, not down, and unless you are a subsistence farmer in the middle of nowhere,the well being of others in your community will affect your well being.
Human civilization and the human species itself has flourished and survived because of its willingness to cooperate, to form communities in which the stronger elements assist the weak, thereby strengthening the entire society. Without this ethic of mutual support, our society will fail.
The professor's concluding five sentences woud be better described as the most useless and misleading sentences I'll ever read, as they are a complete misrepresentation of how any redsitributive policy has ever functioned. The funny thing about all these debates is that we have tried all these things before, cutting taxes, raising taxes, laissez-faire, redistribution--we know what happens when we do these things, and that history does not support the claims of this professor or many of our political "leaders."
I continue to advocate for my own political beliefs through my vote, petitions, and letters to representatives rather than on facebook. That said this particular item caught my eye, and it pissed me off, so I am venting about it here instead.
This is the item in question:
"An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never fai...led a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan". All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little..
The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed. It could not be any simpler than that.
Remember, there IS a test coming up. The 2012 elections.
These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation."
This is my take on it:
Someone who defines Obama's policies as Socialism should not be taking economics 101, not teaching it.
The experiment would have been a more accurate depiction of working life in America had he never given the students that worked the hardest any grade at all, while giving straight A's to those who never came to class, seeing as more than 90% of American millionaires are born millionaires--and currently, the education necessary to obtain a high paying job requires most people to take on decades worth of crippling debt.
The idea that one works hard and therefore achieves wealth is mythological. I've known personally people that struggled to put food on the table and pay the rent despite working an average 60 hours a week at three different jobs. We do not reward work in this country, we reward investment. In fact, a recent body of research found that upward economic mobility is far more difficult in the United States than in Europe or Canada.
Achieving wealth through work or innovation does happen,but that is extremely rare, such as with Steve Jobs, for instance. As for Mr. Jobs, if the rest of society was not able to afford IPods, Iphones and what have you--he would have died a pauper. He got a little bit of every Iphone sold, thanks to his employees who designed, built and sold them and the customers that bought them. Wealth trickles up, not down, and unless you are a subsistence farmer in the middle of nowhere,the well being of others in your community will affect your well being.
Human civilization and the human species itself has flourished and survived because of its willingness to cooperate, to form communities in which the stronger elements assist the weak, thereby strengthening the entire society. Without this ethic of mutual support, our society will fail.
The professor's concluding five sentences woud be better described as the most useless and misleading sentences I'll ever read, as they are a complete misrepresentation of how any redsitributive policy has ever functioned. The funny thing about all these debates is that we have tried all these things before, cutting taxes, raising taxes, laissez-faire, redistribution--we know what happens when we do these things, and that history does not support the claims of this professor or many of our political "leaders."
Friday, January 13, 2012
30 Things
I found this in a dank and dusty corner of my hard drive the other day. It's something I put together on facebook as one of those "tagging" games, you know ... the ones where someone tags you in an note and then you are supposed to answer the same questions.
Well this one caught on (I didn't start it.). Eventually, I (and others) were asked to read my 30 Things about Me as a sort of performance at Synphoria. I don't like I have ever posted it here, so behold ... blog fodder! Yay! Read on if you dare, and if you wanna, send me YOUR 30 things or post it in the comments. You beasts.
1. I care. (Does not apply to cars or sports.)
2. I carry an unholy number of black and purple pens on my person at all times.
3. I am intensely curious. I thrive on forming strong connections with other human beings. I want to know about everything, and I want to know you.
4. Yes! I want to know what that feels like. Yes! I want to know what that tastes like. Yes! I want to know what that looks like and sounds like and smells like and Yes! I want to do it again. Unbroken routine scares me to death.
5. I do not trust any sort of authority, tradition, or conventional wisdom or "common sense." Such terms are arbitrary and their meanings are fluid. I do not dismiss such things out of hand, but they must demonstrate their continued value. Merely being a tradition, or being identified as an "authority," means nothing.
6. The thing I hope people remember most about me is that I made them laugh.
7. I love story, words, language, poetry, music--any expression of passion and creativity, whether it’s Romeo and Juliet or a preschooler’s finger painting.
8. I am really stubborn. I go to ridiculous extremes before I admit anything remotely close to defeat. I think that in some situations that is a shortcoming, and in others, that is a virtue.
9. I have seen too much violence. I have seen too much murder and death, and it makes me tired. It also makes me want to be kind, to be open. There are forces that would push us towards fear, isolation, and cynicism, to close ourselves off for protection or for pride. If we obey, then we surrender the world. In this sense, love is rebellion and it requires courage.
10. That said ... if someone harms my daughters I will put him in a world of hurt from which he will never escape. Oh well, nobody's perfect. :-)
11. I pretty much raised my daughters on my own, until Carolyn and I got married two and a half years ago. Raising them is exhausting and awesome all at once. My children have given me as much as I have given them, if not more. They have molded me and molded my life as much as I have molded theirs, and they are joy.
12. I think that without random and radical acts of kindness and beauty, life would be such a chore.
13. I think there is sometimes something beautiful in mistakes, detours, and wrong turns--in making the journey longer or more difficult. Although it can seem ugly at first blush, the beauty of error can manifest itself in retrospect ... and, in the moment, I think we can sense the potential of that beauty hovering beside us like a ghost.
14. By nature I am a very affectionate person, but I worry that I get into people's space and make them feel threatened, so I often hold back. But underneath it all I’m shameless cuddle monkey.
15. One time when I was staying at my brother's house a burglar broke in. I saw the shadows of his feet moving under the bedroom door. I got out of bed and put on my glasses and shoes, then picked up the closest thing at hand that I could use to defend myself. Luckily it was a Scottish Claymore broadsword and opened the door. The dude screamed and hauled ass down the stairs. I pursued. He flew out the front door into the arms of the police officers who were already there. This surprised me because I hadn't called them. The next day I discovered that this poor guy actually broke into the neighbor's house first. They shot at him. He broke into my brother's house to escape, where he met me...
16. I have a special fondness for nighttime things: the moon, and thunderstorms, and owls, and bats, and cats.
17. I love to cook. Like writing, cooking is liberation. It is an opportunity for creativity, expression of love and nourishment, and independence. Prepackaged and fast foods make me feel like a hamster in a cage waiting for a pellet. In this day and age, cooking from scratch is a subversive act.
18. My beard’s name is Artemis. It has its own facebook profile.
19. Once when I was camping under the stars a skunk walked out of the woods, crawled up my leg and fell asleep in my lap. It stayed there about two hours before it left. It did not spray me.
20. I remember being taken to church when I was a very small child. It was an old fashioned marble and stained glass Romanesque cathedral. I couldn’t see over the pew and no one really explained what was going on except for saying that we were going to God’s house. So I sat there staring at the back of the pew and the ceiling not seeing anything else and when people started talking I thought I was literally hearing the voice of God. Eventually, I was able to pull myself up and see that up front there were people and they were the ones talking, and I remember feeling bitterly disappointed and a little cheated.
21. I've come to realize that life... is complex, contradictory, all at once unexpected and predictable, in and out of our control, a thing to nurtured and respected despite its difficulties, a gift to be appreciated and a trial to endure, should not be taken for granted or taken lightly, but should at all times be considered with a strong sense of both justice and humor.
22. It recently occurred to me that I have been living for a long time with too many self-imposed restrictions, and that I should just try to enjoy for a while.
23. Earlier this year, I did one of those Facebook status games where you say something about the person who posted and then you do it back and so forth. One of the questions was “What animal do I remind you of?” About 80% of the respondents said, “owl.”
24. In the last three and a half years, I have lost about 60 pounds. I came to feel like I was living in my head and had totally lost touch with my body. I tried to reconnect; that process is ongoing and proceeding apace. But all in all I am making an effort to care for myself in a real way, possibly for the first time. However, I still like pie.
25. I wrote my first poem on a CTA bus in 1995. I worked it out in my head then got off the bus and made for a library where I was able to write it down before I forgot it.
26. I love to ask questions and to be asked questions, sometimes the oddest most random details about a person can be quite revealing. I feel honored when someone asks me a question, or wants to know something about me. I consider it a compliment.
27. I want waaaaay more tattoos than I can afford. At present, I only have two little ones and one fat one on my back.
28. I grew up on the South Side of Chicago, in the Marquette Park neighborhood. I lived in Chicago until I was 26, and I regret leaving and plan to go back. There is no way to quantify how much Chicago is ingrained in my identity. I know the city like the back of my hand; I know its streets and its history and I never tire of learning more. I hope my children remember what it was like before we came to the suburbs.
29. I am convinced that William Shakespeare understood more about human beings than anyone who has ever lived. He was a sorcerer with language and he has no peer. I mean, you or I might say, "Hey, go over there and get that thing for me please." Shakespeare says, "Be Mercury! Set wings to thy heels and fly hence and back to me again." That's the shit right there.
30. I am viscerally aware, when I am speaking with someone, that it may be the last time I see them or speak to them. We cannot take tomorrow for granted. There may not be one for you or me, so let's be good to each other now and say what we feel.
Well this one caught on (I didn't start it.). Eventually, I (and others) were asked to read my 30 Things about Me as a sort of performance at Synphoria. I don't like I have ever posted it here, so behold ... blog fodder! Yay! Read on if you dare, and if you wanna, send me YOUR 30 things or post it in the comments. You beasts.
1. I care. (Does not apply to cars or sports.)
2. I carry an unholy number of black and purple pens on my person at all times.
3. I am intensely curious. I thrive on forming strong connections with other human beings. I want to know about everything, and I want to know you.
4. Yes! I want to know what that feels like. Yes! I want to know what that tastes like. Yes! I want to know what that looks like and sounds like and smells like and Yes! I want to do it again. Unbroken routine scares me to death.
5. I do not trust any sort of authority, tradition, or conventional wisdom or "common sense." Such terms are arbitrary and their meanings are fluid. I do not dismiss such things out of hand, but they must demonstrate their continued value. Merely being a tradition, or being identified as an "authority," means nothing.
6. The thing I hope people remember most about me is that I made them laugh.
7. I love story, words, language, poetry, music--any expression of passion and creativity, whether it’s Romeo and Juliet or a preschooler’s finger painting.
8. I am really stubborn. I go to ridiculous extremes before I admit anything remotely close to defeat. I think that in some situations that is a shortcoming, and in others, that is a virtue.
9. I have seen too much violence. I have seen too much murder and death, and it makes me tired. It also makes me want to be kind, to be open. There are forces that would push us towards fear, isolation, and cynicism, to close ourselves off for protection or for pride. If we obey, then we surrender the world. In this sense, love is rebellion and it requires courage.
10. That said ... if someone harms my daughters I will put him in a world of hurt from which he will never escape. Oh well, nobody's perfect. :-)
11. I pretty much raised my daughters on my own, until Carolyn and I got married two and a half years ago. Raising them is exhausting and awesome all at once. My children have given me as much as I have given them, if not more. They have molded me and molded my life as much as I have molded theirs, and they are joy.
12. I think that without random and radical acts of kindness and beauty, life would be such a chore.
13. I think there is sometimes something beautiful in mistakes, detours, and wrong turns--in making the journey longer or more difficult. Although it can seem ugly at first blush, the beauty of error can manifest itself in retrospect ... and, in the moment, I think we can sense the potential of that beauty hovering beside us like a ghost.
14. By nature I am a very affectionate person, but I worry that I get into people's space and make them feel threatened, so I often hold back. But underneath it all I’m shameless cuddle monkey.
15. One time when I was staying at my brother's house a burglar broke in. I saw the shadows of his feet moving under the bedroom door. I got out of bed and put on my glasses and shoes, then picked up the closest thing at hand that I could use to defend myself. Luckily it was a Scottish Claymore broadsword and opened the door. The dude screamed and hauled ass down the stairs. I pursued. He flew out the front door into the arms of the police officers who were already there. This surprised me because I hadn't called them. The next day I discovered that this poor guy actually broke into the neighbor's house first. They shot at him. He broke into my brother's house to escape, where he met me...
16. I have a special fondness for nighttime things: the moon, and thunderstorms, and owls, and bats, and cats.
17. I love to cook. Like writing, cooking is liberation. It is an opportunity for creativity, expression of love and nourishment, and independence. Prepackaged and fast foods make me feel like a hamster in a cage waiting for a pellet. In this day and age, cooking from scratch is a subversive act.
18. My beard’s name is Artemis. It has its own facebook profile.
19. Once when I was camping under the stars a skunk walked out of the woods, crawled up my leg and fell asleep in my lap. It stayed there about two hours before it left. It did not spray me.
20. I remember being taken to church when I was a very small child. It was an old fashioned marble and stained glass Romanesque cathedral. I couldn’t see over the pew and no one really explained what was going on except for saying that we were going to God’s house. So I sat there staring at the back of the pew and the ceiling not seeing anything else and when people started talking I thought I was literally hearing the voice of God. Eventually, I was able to pull myself up and see that up front there were people and they were the ones talking, and I remember feeling bitterly disappointed and a little cheated.
21. I've come to realize that life... is complex, contradictory, all at once unexpected and predictable, in and out of our control, a thing to nurtured and respected despite its difficulties, a gift to be appreciated and a trial to endure, should not be taken for granted or taken lightly, but should at all times be considered with a strong sense of both justice and humor.
22. It recently occurred to me that I have been living for a long time with too many self-imposed restrictions, and that I should just try to enjoy for a while.
23. Earlier this year, I did one of those Facebook status games where you say something about the person who posted and then you do it back and so forth. One of the questions was “What animal do I remind you of?” About 80% of the respondents said, “owl.”
24. In the last three and a half years, I have lost about 60 pounds. I came to feel like I was living in my head and had totally lost touch with my body. I tried to reconnect; that process is ongoing and proceeding apace. But all in all I am making an effort to care for myself in a real way, possibly for the first time. However, I still like pie.
25. I wrote my first poem on a CTA bus in 1995. I worked it out in my head then got off the bus and made for a library where I was able to write it down before I forgot it.
26. I love to ask questions and to be asked questions, sometimes the oddest most random details about a person can be quite revealing. I feel honored when someone asks me a question, or wants to know something about me. I consider it a compliment.
27. I want waaaaay more tattoos than I can afford. At present, I only have two little ones and one fat one on my back.
28. I grew up on the South Side of Chicago, in the Marquette Park neighborhood. I lived in Chicago until I was 26, and I regret leaving and plan to go back. There is no way to quantify how much Chicago is ingrained in my identity. I know the city like the back of my hand; I know its streets and its history and I never tire of learning more. I hope my children remember what it was like before we came to the suburbs.
29. I am convinced that William Shakespeare understood more about human beings than anyone who has ever lived. He was a sorcerer with language and he has no peer. I mean, you or I might say, "Hey, go over there and get that thing for me please." Shakespeare says, "Be Mercury! Set wings to thy heels and fly hence and back to me again." That's the shit right there.
30. I am viscerally aware, when I am speaking with someone, that it may be the last time I see them or speak to them. We cannot take tomorrow for granted. There may not be one for you or me, so let's be good to each other now and say what we feel.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Happy Narcissism Day!
I took this personality tests and I was tickled with the results, as I think they are rather spot on, even the the one that said I was the type most likely to become a "criminal."
As I always said, you know the one thing that truly makes people into criminals: LAWS.
Anyway, here's what the Internet had to say about me today:
Your Type is "Idealist Healer"
INFP
Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving
"Healers present a calm and serene face to the world, and can seem shy, even distant around others. But inside they're anything but serene, having a capacity for personal caring rarely found in the other types. Healers care deeply about the inner life of a few special persons, or about a favorite cause in the world at large. And their great passion is to heal the conflicts that trouble individuals, or that divide groups, and thus to bring wholeness, or health, to themselves, their loved ones, and their community.
Healers have a profound sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. They conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place, full of wondrous possibilities and potential goods. In fact, to understand Healers, we must understand that their deep commitment to the positive and the good is almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. Set off from the rest of humanity by their privacy and scarcity, Healers can often feel even more isolated in the purity of their idealism.
Also, Healers might well feel a sense of separation because of their often misunderstood childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood-they are the prince or princess of fairy tales-an attitude which, sadly, is frowned upon, or even punished, by many parents. With parents who want them to get their head out of the clouds, Healers begin to believe they are bad to be so fanciful, so dreamy, and can come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. In truth, they are quite OK just as they are, only different from most others-swans reared in a family of ducks.
At work, Healers are adaptable, welcome new ideas and new information, are patient with complicated situations, but impatient with routine details. Healers are keenly aware of people and their feelings, and relate well with most others. Because of their deep-seated reserve, however, they can work quite happily alone. When making decisions, Healers follow their heart not their head, which means they can make errors of fact, but seldom of feeling. They have a natural interest in scholarly activities and demonstrate, like the other Idealists, a remarkable facility with language. They have a gift for interpreting stories, as well as for creating them, and thus often write in lyric, poetic fashion. Frequently they hear a call to go forth into the world and help others, a call they seem ready to answer, even if they must sacrifice their own comfort."
"Idealist men find it relatively easy to express tender feelings, sympathize with others, and have female friends. Some even enjoy shopping. Many women find this intensely appealing while others view them as effeminate.
Idealist men are the most likely to provide romantic dates, an empathetic listening ear, and kindness. Women are likely to appreciate their ability to simply listen without trying to solve problems although they are likely to need to share the stage with the Idealist man who also wants to be heard. Along with sensitivity, Idealists are the most likely type of man to be moody, responding to the moods of those around them."
It included a "risk attitudes profiler" that called me an "Adventurer." LOL
"Risk Attitudes Profiler
Adventurer
PSYCHOLOGICAL PORTRAIT
People of this type are not made for quiet life. Due to their psychological characteristics, the society has always to reckon with their existence either defending itself from them or asking for their help or tolerating them and exploiting secondary results of their activity.
Throughout history, people of this type composed the criminal layers of the society. They were thieves, burglars and gangsters as well as gamblers, card-players, roulette players, etc., who occasionally staked all their property and even their life on luck. In ancient Rome, free citizens and even patricians, who felt a great need for risk, voluntarily became gladiators, and if they did not have enough opportunities to fight in the arena, they showed their discontent. This type also included medieval knights wandering in the Europe in search of tournaments, swashbucklers, condottieri and pirates. In more modern times this type can be found among revolutionaries, conspirators, terrorists, and drug smugglers.
These are examples of extremely anti-social manifestations of the needs for risk. But thirst for risk can appear in socially acceptable forms. Mountain-climbers, slalomists, race-drivers, sailors who cross the oceans alone, tightrope-walkers, who walk the rope over waterfalls and precipices, as well as small-time gamblers who play in lotteries and slot machines- all these engage in risky activities which do not harm society.
People with a pronounced thirst for danger and risk may be also useful to society which utilizes their characteristics in employing them in suitable occupations such as the police, the army where they serve as commandos or paratroopers, the fire department and even in the cinema as stuntmen.
People of this type are usually physically strong, courageous, and have excellent control of their bodies. When they are young they eagerly take up, football, baseball, basketball and different types of hand-to-hand combat. They easily master mechanical skills and are good at driving cars. They usually drive at high speed and like to overtake other cars, sometimes creating dangerous situations.
They are not especially bothered by moral problems, but those who are socialized keep to formal moral demands of society, especially to those of a group. These people can be subdivided into two groups according to their attitude to the group or to society. One kind gives priority to freedom from all social values and prefers to run risks alone. The other kind likes power and prefers to act in a group. They long for a leading position in the group and although they dislike it, will acknowledge the leadership of any stronger and more authoritative person.
In communicating they are somewhat rough and they can even be cruel to those who are weaker. However, there is an intrinsic sentimentality in them and they can be deeply moved by any soulful story or movie. They like to relax when they are not involved in their dangerous pursuits. Those who are asocial incline to alcohol and drugs. Socialized people of this type relax with peaceful activities such as fishing, gardening, caring for their pets, etc.
As they grow older and have established families, they feel less attracted to risk; memories of their past adventures return to them and they indulge in reminiscences. They begin to feel the future, connecting it with the future of their children. Their love affairs (until they are married) are mostly fleeting and superficial, although sometimes they experience long and stable relationship. They are not fastidious about their food though they prefer meat products.
A vivid example of a person with expressed thirst for risk is Alexander of Macedon who led a dangerous life for what he thought was the goal of spreading of Hellenic civilization throughout the known world. In modern times a similar type was Che Guevara who was fought for his idea of social justice. In literature there was Don Quixote. The international spy, Mata Hari, notorious during the First World War, can be considered to be a woman of this type."
What about you? Take the test here and let me know what it says about you:
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm
As I always said, you know the one thing that truly makes people into criminals: LAWS.
Anyway, here's what the Internet had to say about me today:
Your Type is "Idealist Healer"
INFP
Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving
"Healers present a calm and serene face to the world, and can seem shy, even distant around others. But inside they're anything but serene, having a capacity for personal caring rarely found in the other types. Healers care deeply about the inner life of a few special persons, or about a favorite cause in the world at large. And their great passion is to heal the conflicts that trouble individuals, or that divide groups, and thus to bring wholeness, or health, to themselves, their loved ones, and their community.
Healers have a profound sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. They conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place, full of wondrous possibilities and potential goods. In fact, to understand Healers, we must understand that their deep commitment to the positive and the good is almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. Set off from the rest of humanity by their privacy and scarcity, Healers can often feel even more isolated in the purity of their idealism.
Also, Healers might well feel a sense of separation because of their often misunderstood childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood-they are the prince or princess of fairy tales-an attitude which, sadly, is frowned upon, or even punished, by many parents. With parents who want them to get their head out of the clouds, Healers begin to believe they are bad to be so fanciful, so dreamy, and can come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. In truth, they are quite OK just as they are, only different from most others-swans reared in a family of ducks.
At work, Healers are adaptable, welcome new ideas and new information, are patient with complicated situations, but impatient with routine details. Healers are keenly aware of people and their feelings, and relate well with most others. Because of their deep-seated reserve, however, they can work quite happily alone. When making decisions, Healers follow their heart not their head, which means they can make errors of fact, but seldom of feeling. They have a natural interest in scholarly activities and demonstrate, like the other Idealists, a remarkable facility with language. They have a gift for interpreting stories, as well as for creating them, and thus often write in lyric, poetic fashion. Frequently they hear a call to go forth into the world and help others, a call they seem ready to answer, even if they must sacrifice their own comfort."
"Idealist men find it relatively easy to express tender feelings, sympathize with others, and have female friends. Some even enjoy shopping. Many women find this intensely appealing while others view them as effeminate.
Idealist men are the most likely to provide romantic dates, an empathetic listening ear, and kindness. Women are likely to appreciate their ability to simply listen without trying to solve problems although they are likely to need to share the stage with the Idealist man who also wants to be heard. Along with sensitivity, Idealists are the most likely type of man to be moody, responding to the moods of those around them."
It included a "risk attitudes profiler" that called me an "Adventurer." LOL
"Risk Attitudes Profiler
Adventurer
PSYCHOLOGICAL PORTRAIT
People of this type are not made for quiet life. Due to their psychological characteristics, the society has always to reckon with their existence either defending itself from them or asking for their help or tolerating them and exploiting secondary results of their activity.
Throughout history, people of this type composed the criminal layers of the society. They were thieves, burglars and gangsters as well as gamblers, card-players, roulette players, etc., who occasionally staked all their property and even their life on luck. In ancient Rome, free citizens and even patricians, who felt a great need for risk, voluntarily became gladiators, and if they did not have enough opportunities to fight in the arena, they showed their discontent. This type also included medieval knights wandering in the Europe in search of tournaments, swashbucklers, condottieri and pirates. In more modern times this type can be found among revolutionaries, conspirators, terrorists, and drug smugglers.
These are examples of extremely anti-social manifestations of the needs for risk. But thirst for risk can appear in socially acceptable forms. Mountain-climbers, slalomists, race-drivers, sailors who cross the oceans alone, tightrope-walkers, who walk the rope over waterfalls and precipices, as well as small-time gamblers who play in lotteries and slot machines- all these engage in risky activities which do not harm society.
People with a pronounced thirst for danger and risk may be also useful to society which utilizes their characteristics in employing them in suitable occupations such as the police, the army where they serve as commandos or paratroopers, the fire department and even in the cinema as stuntmen.
People of this type are usually physically strong, courageous, and have excellent control of their bodies. When they are young they eagerly take up, football, baseball, basketball and different types of hand-to-hand combat. They easily master mechanical skills and are good at driving cars. They usually drive at high speed and like to overtake other cars, sometimes creating dangerous situations.
They are not especially bothered by moral problems, but those who are socialized keep to formal moral demands of society, especially to those of a group. These people can be subdivided into two groups according to their attitude to the group or to society. One kind gives priority to freedom from all social values and prefers to run risks alone. The other kind likes power and prefers to act in a group. They long for a leading position in the group and although they dislike it, will acknowledge the leadership of any stronger and more authoritative person.
In communicating they are somewhat rough and they can even be cruel to those who are weaker. However, there is an intrinsic sentimentality in them and they can be deeply moved by any soulful story or movie. They like to relax when they are not involved in their dangerous pursuits. Those who are asocial incline to alcohol and drugs. Socialized people of this type relax with peaceful activities such as fishing, gardening, caring for their pets, etc.
As they grow older and have established families, they feel less attracted to risk; memories of their past adventures return to them and they indulge in reminiscences. They begin to feel the future, connecting it with the future of their children. Their love affairs (until they are married) are mostly fleeting and superficial, although sometimes they experience long and stable relationship. They are not fastidious about their food though they prefer meat products.
A vivid example of a person with expressed thirst for risk is Alexander of Macedon who led a dangerous life for what he thought was the goal of spreading of Hellenic civilization throughout the known world. In modern times a similar type was Che Guevara who was fought for his idea of social justice. In literature there was Don Quixote. The international spy, Mata Hari, notorious during the First World War, can be considered to be a woman of this type."
What about you? Take the test here and let me know what it says about you:
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
26 Things I Really Liked about 2011
This is a short, quick and easy random list. I am sure I will think of more ... what made you happy in 2011?
1. Two of my favorite people in the world got married to each other.
2. I made some marvelous new friends. Older friendships got stronger.
3. I started doing a podcast. (www.ikickyourface.com)
4. I played a big role in publishing an independent magazine.
5. I took my daughters camping for the first time and had lots of fun. We discovered something new we like to do together.
6. My oldest daughter started driving. I can’t believe how fast these chimpies are growing up. It’s exhilarating … and scary, like roller coasters if roller coasters were scary.
7. I saw my youngest daughter become more outgoing, make new friends, go outside to play and be active. She has also become an avid reader. I don’t have to force her to turn off the TV and do something else anymore. She’s eager for other opportunities.
8. I organized a theme camp for Lakes of Fire.
9. I participated in two We-Ohm Eye Gazing Meditations facilitated by Preston Klik.
10. I got a lot better at spinning fire and did a couple of public performances at Give Peace a Dance, and at the Full Moon Fire Jams.
11. Carolyn had her first public art show.
12. I learned to worry a lot less and be more comfortable in my own skin.
13. I started talking to my parents more often, and the conversations have become pleasant.
14. I learned to be OK with letting certain people go, and letting go control of certain situations.
15. I feel like I have fallen even more in love with my wife with each passing day.
16. I planned a spectacular bachelor party for my best chum!
17. I got back into reading comics, and got Carolyn into reading them. It’s been fun to pick up the books, read them and talk them over.
18. I had some fascinating new experiences that I am going to keep to myself for now.
19. I went to New York City for the first time. Sure, it was for work, and sure, I wasn’t there long, and sure, I only had a short time for exploring and didn’t get out of Manhattan, but hey, it’s been on my bucket list, and it confirmed that I would much rather live in Chicago—a far more beautiful and interesting city as far as I am concerned.
20. I became a little less eager to please, and that’s a good thing.
21. I did my first solo Synphoria “performance”: “30 Things about Me” in February.
22. I played paintball for the first time and had a blast, then proceeded to acquire Dark Lord with my Chum.
23. I had an excellent birthday celebration with Carolyn, Markisan, Glenda, and Conan the Barbarian.
24. We had really fun New Year’s Eve with glorious friends.
25. Someone actually gifted us a gym membership, so I now have a good place to work out regularly and attend yoga and other classes.
26. I went on an arduous trek to find an Orange Julius in Niles, IL with my ever-faithful side kick Chumwise Gamgee. On the road we made up and sang doom metal songs about the very beverage we so desperately needed to consume. The tune, "My Weeping Gullet" topped our charts.
1. Two of my favorite people in the world got married to each other.
2. I made some marvelous new friends. Older friendships got stronger.
3. I started doing a podcast. (www.ikickyourface.com)
4. I played a big role in publishing an independent magazine.
5. I took my daughters camping for the first time and had lots of fun. We discovered something new we like to do together.
6. My oldest daughter started driving. I can’t believe how fast these chimpies are growing up. It’s exhilarating … and scary, like roller coasters if roller coasters were scary.
7. I saw my youngest daughter become more outgoing, make new friends, go outside to play and be active. She has also become an avid reader. I don’t have to force her to turn off the TV and do something else anymore. She’s eager for other opportunities.
8. I organized a theme camp for Lakes of Fire.
9. I participated in two We-Ohm Eye Gazing Meditations facilitated by Preston Klik.
10. I got a lot better at spinning fire and did a couple of public performances at Give Peace a Dance, and at the Full Moon Fire Jams.
11. Carolyn had her first public art show.
12. I learned to worry a lot less and be more comfortable in my own skin.
13. I started talking to my parents more often, and the conversations have become pleasant.
14. I learned to be OK with letting certain people go, and letting go control of certain situations.
15. I feel like I have fallen even more in love with my wife with each passing day.
16. I planned a spectacular bachelor party for my best chum!
17. I got back into reading comics, and got Carolyn into reading them. It’s been fun to pick up the books, read them and talk them over.
18. I had some fascinating new experiences that I am going to keep to myself for now.
19. I went to New York City for the first time. Sure, it was for work, and sure, I wasn’t there long, and sure, I only had a short time for exploring and didn’t get out of Manhattan, but hey, it’s been on my bucket list, and it confirmed that I would much rather live in Chicago—a far more beautiful and interesting city as far as I am concerned.
20. I became a little less eager to please, and that’s a good thing.
21. I did my first solo Synphoria “performance”: “30 Things about Me” in February.
22. I played paintball for the first time and had a blast, then proceeded to acquire Dark Lord with my Chum.
23. I had an excellent birthday celebration with Carolyn, Markisan, Glenda, and Conan the Barbarian.
24. We had really fun New Year’s Eve with glorious friends.
25. Someone actually gifted us a gym membership, so I now have a good place to work out regularly and attend yoga and other classes.
26. I went on an arduous trek to find an Orange Julius in Niles, IL with my ever-faithful side kick Chumwise Gamgee. On the road we made up and sang doom metal songs about the very beverage we so desperately needed to consume. The tune, "My Weeping Gullet" topped our charts.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
A Word of Manly Advice
All right gentlemen, hearken unto me for a moment. It's been brought to my attention that some of you don't know how to behave. But fear not, your Captain is here to instruct you. Here's what it seems you need to know.
1. "Women are equals." does not mean, "It's OK to disrespect women in a somewhat different way than we used to." Somehow, these two statements became confused over the years, and quite frankly, dudes, I am a little disappointed. Here's the facts: Just because you HAVE a dick, doesn't mean you should BE a dick. Hold open the door, offer her your seat on the bus; say "please" and "thank you." It's common courtesy, and you are degrading yourselves more than anyone else by neglecting to practice it. I honestly can't believe that in 2011 we still have to talk about this. I thought we cleared this up during the disco era.
2. I am not going to go into too much detail on this, but I think my meaning will be clear nevertheless: Gentlemen, PUT THE CAMERAPHONE DOWN. And while you're at it--cancel the Twitter account, cut of your fingers, handcuff yourself to a radiator in a pitch-black dark room, but whatever you do--do not email, tweet or otherwise communicate that picture. If you do, Newsweek will do a cover story about what a shithead you are. Oh, and the recipient of your little artwork will show her friends and they will all laugh at you--a lot. Get your Snuffalufagus back on Sesame Street where it belongs.
3. You are not Houdini. Don't just disappear. If you decide the lady in question is not the one for you, just be a man and fucking tell her. And be honest with yourself too: You're not trying to spare her feelings, you're trying to spare yourself the "hassle" of taking responsbility for your decisions. Suddenly deciding to never answer the phone again is not letting anyone down easy. Be honest with yourself, be honest with others, and be upfront about your intentions. Or just stay home and play video games and leave everyone else alone.
4. Chill out with the jealousy. I think the lady readers could benefit from this one too. If you are so insecure, feaful, and weak that the idea that the lady or gentleman in your life might laugh at another person's joke or have a pleasant conversation with someone of the opposite sex that is not you and so forth, stop blaming them and go get some therapy. Your fears are your problem, and your responsibility to resolve. If you have reason to believe your partner is truly dishonest, then get out of that relationship and find someone you can trust. But if you feel threatened by your partner's every day interaction with random members of the oppositite sex, own your issues and go get help. You need it.
5. Stop acting as though your sole mission in life is to prove to everyone you have ever met that you are not gay. It's rude, disrespectful to a whole lot of good and decent gay people, and it totally makes people think you're gay.
6. Stop acting like war is cool and fun unless you've been in one and honestly still feel that way. Something tells me it's probably not going to go down that way, but good luck to you pal.
7. Read a fucking book. Not "Twilight."
8. Here's another one I can't believe people still need to be told: Pay attention to how your words and actions affect people. Think about this BEFORE you do or say something. I know you've been taught that as a man you have to be hard and angry and insenstive, that's the traditional way and it was good enough for our forefathers and it's good enough for you. Well guess what: Tradition is the result of little more than laziness and convenience, and everything you've ever been taught is probably wrong. So think for yourself, and think about others. Being a man isn't about being selfish, obnoxious, violent, or stupid, no matter what your grandpappy said. Also, find the balance between being considerate and being a pushover. The world does not need another Ike Turner, and the world does not need another sparkly emo vampire bitch either. There is a middle ground. Find it and stay there. And pull up your God damn pants.
9. Do not evaluate women soley based on their dress sizes. You don't even need to KNOW their dress sizes. Oh, and if weight and physical fitness are truly that important to you, then drop the french fries and start doing sit ups because chances are you need it more than she does. And remember my friends--WATCHING sports does NOT make YOU athletic.
10. Stop boasting. Stop bragging. Stop telling everyone how truly awesome, smart, and sexy you are. Show them with your actions. Live up to your words and you won't need to say them at all. And remember to laugh at yourself ... because you're funny, look at you: ignoring the phone call from the girl you were out with last night and sexting photos of your taint to the counter lady at Supercuts while eating a Big Mac on the train next to an elderly woman who's standing up like the man you think you are. You're a joke.
I hope you've enjoyed these handy tips. If you happen to engage in the above behaviors and think I came off a little angry, it's because I am, and you deserve it. You're embarrassing me along with yourselves. Now go forth and improve.
1. "Women are equals." does not mean, "It's OK to disrespect women in a somewhat different way than we used to." Somehow, these two statements became confused over the years, and quite frankly, dudes, I am a little disappointed. Here's the facts: Just because you HAVE a dick, doesn't mean you should BE a dick. Hold open the door, offer her your seat on the bus; say "please" and "thank you." It's common courtesy, and you are degrading yourselves more than anyone else by neglecting to practice it. I honestly can't believe that in 2011 we still have to talk about this. I thought we cleared this up during the disco era.
2. I am not going to go into too much detail on this, but I think my meaning will be clear nevertheless: Gentlemen, PUT THE CAMERAPHONE DOWN. And while you're at it--cancel the Twitter account, cut of your fingers, handcuff yourself to a radiator in a pitch-black dark room, but whatever you do--do not email, tweet or otherwise communicate that picture. If you do, Newsweek will do a cover story about what a shithead you are. Oh, and the recipient of your little artwork will show her friends and they will all laugh at you--a lot. Get your Snuffalufagus back on Sesame Street where it belongs.
3. You are not Houdini. Don't just disappear. If you decide the lady in question is not the one for you, just be a man and fucking tell her. And be honest with yourself too: You're not trying to spare her feelings, you're trying to spare yourself the "hassle" of taking responsbility for your decisions. Suddenly deciding to never answer the phone again is not letting anyone down easy. Be honest with yourself, be honest with others, and be upfront about your intentions. Or just stay home and play video games and leave everyone else alone.
4. Chill out with the jealousy. I think the lady readers could benefit from this one too. If you are so insecure, feaful, and weak that the idea that the lady or gentleman in your life might laugh at another person's joke or have a pleasant conversation with someone of the opposite sex that is not you and so forth, stop blaming them and go get some therapy. Your fears are your problem, and your responsibility to resolve. If you have reason to believe your partner is truly dishonest, then get out of that relationship and find someone you can trust. But if you feel threatened by your partner's every day interaction with random members of the oppositite sex, own your issues and go get help. You need it.
5. Stop acting as though your sole mission in life is to prove to everyone you have ever met that you are not gay. It's rude, disrespectful to a whole lot of good and decent gay people, and it totally makes people think you're gay.
6. Stop acting like war is cool and fun unless you've been in one and honestly still feel that way. Something tells me it's probably not going to go down that way, but good luck to you pal.
7. Read a fucking book. Not "Twilight."
8. Here's another one I can't believe people still need to be told: Pay attention to how your words and actions affect people. Think about this BEFORE you do or say something. I know you've been taught that as a man you have to be hard and angry and insenstive, that's the traditional way and it was good enough for our forefathers and it's good enough for you. Well guess what: Tradition is the result of little more than laziness and convenience, and everything you've ever been taught is probably wrong. So think for yourself, and think about others. Being a man isn't about being selfish, obnoxious, violent, or stupid, no matter what your grandpappy said. Also, find the balance between being considerate and being a pushover. The world does not need another Ike Turner, and the world does not need another sparkly emo vampire bitch either. There is a middle ground. Find it and stay there. And pull up your God damn pants.
9. Do not evaluate women soley based on their dress sizes. You don't even need to KNOW their dress sizes. Oh, and if weight and physical fitness are truly that important to you, then drop the french fries and start doing sit ups because chances are you need it more than she does. And remember my friends--WATCHING sports does NOT make YOU athletic.
10. Stop boasting. Stop bragging. Stop telling everyone how truly awesome, smart, and sexy you are. Show them with your actions. Live up to your words and you won't need to say them at all. And remember to laugh at yourself ... because you're funny, look at you: ignoring the phone call from the girl you were out with last night and sexting photos of your taint to the counter lady at Supercuts while eating a Big Mac on the train next to an elderly woman who's standing up like the man you think you are. You're a joke.
I hope you've enjoyed these handy tips. If you happen to engage in the above behaviors and think I came off a little angry, it's because I am, and you deserve it. You're embarrassing me along with yourselves. Now go forth and improve.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Thank you, Clark W. Grizzwald
Last night my monk and my kids and I gathered around the television for the traditional viewing of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I am sure almost everyone reading this blog has seen this glorious piece of true comic genius.
For some reason, the jokes never get old. Every year I laugh out loud at, "It wouldn't be the Christmas season if the stores were any hooter than they are," and other classic lines that so many of my friends and family can quote in almost any situation. Except by now, I often find myself cracking up BEFORE the punch line is delivered ... in anticipation.
Last night, however, I began to think of the movie a little differently. In particular, the central character: Clark Grizzwald. It occured to me: For all the fumbles, stumbles and outright disasters that take place every time this guy tries to do ANYTHING, Clark Grizzwald is a hero for our age. TThere is a lot to respect about the man in the hockey mask with the chainsaw who assaults his neighbors out of pure desperation to give his family a nice Christmas--even though they don't seem to appreciate it on the surface.
Here's my thoughts on why we should stop mocking and start congratulating Clark W. Grizzwald:
1. He fucking cares. This man is dedicated. He does nothing small, and no amount of complaining and snickering can deter him. If his 250,000 twinkle lights don't light up the night on the first try, he gets back up on the roof and checks every bulb. While his neighbors fret over their stereo and blandly criticize; while his in-laws make jokes at his expense,Clark Grizzwald presses on unbowed. He's motivated by love for his family; every knock on the head and fall down the stairs is for them, and he doesn't bedgrudge them for it one bit.
2. He's a Romantic. In an age sorely lacking in romance, Grizz keeps the passion alive. He's got the fire down below. He's passionate about just about everything he does, whether it's taking his kids to an amusement park, putting up a Christmas tree, or hell, doing his job. When he takes the kids sledding, he tries to find a way to do it faster, better. It ends in hilarious catastrophe, but you have to admit--the man didn't settle. In between bitch slapping plastic reindeer and stalking runaway squirrels, he remembers to pick up a little lingerie for his wife. A beast breathes beneath those geeky Christmas sweaters, my friends.
3. He's kind. Sure, he's pissed off that his cousin Eddie hasn't found a job in seven years and has nothing for kids for Christmas. The fact is he can't stand Eddie on any level--but he's still going to take of Eddie's kids. That's not his problem; that's not his business; that's not his responsibility; but he makes it his problem, even though no one would fault him if he didn't--because he can. To the Grizz, doing what is right is more important than doing what is "fair." And he understand the difference. He couldn't sit right with himself if he let those kids down, whether it should be his job or not. And sure, one could say what one wants about commercialism and the darker side of gift giving, but in the story at least the gifts are symbol. The point here is compassion. He's willing to help out someone he doesn't even like, someone who is clearly taking advantage of him, because there's some kids stuck in the middle who need a little love--who need to believe in something.
4. He's responsible. Clark's "good, old-fashioned family Christmas' is a disaster. His home is literally almost destroyed and almost everything he tries to do utterly fails. People are injured. Hostages are taken. The police are called. Very little of this is his fault. Shit just happens. Cats get electrocuted. So it goes. Still ... he never once says, "It's not my fault." When his moron cousin-in-law kidnaps his boss, Clark says he'll "take the rap." He owns his mistakes, but still isn't afraid to take risks.
5. He's a bad ass. He's a little recognized aspect of Clark's character. He stands up for himself. He puts his yuppie neighbors in their place more than once. He tells his whiny father-in-law not to piss him off. He rips is boss a new one for cutting out the Christmas bonus without telling anyone. In the first Vacation movie he forces a security guard onto a roller coaster at gun point. In the European Vacation movie, he runs down and punches out an Italian mobster.
And sure, the man isn't perfect. He loses his cool. He flips out, and he goes to extremes. He threatens to sodomize his neighbor with a huge Christmas tree and calls his boss a "bag of monkey shit." But hey, he reassures us, we've all done it. And it's OK in the end.
These aspects of the Grizz are underscored by the people around him. You can see how much he cares in how much they don't, or in how they react to him. His friend at work calls him, "The last true family man." And that may be true. The yuppie neighbors are perfect foils for the Grizz. Clark believes in magic and is ready to make his own. The yuppies roll their eyes and do nothing but snipe at each other and everyone else. They have zero passion. When yuppie husband moves in for a kiss, yuppie wife puts her hands up and tells him to shower. When things go wrong, they blame each other, and yuppie boy lacks the balls to say "boo" to Clark when the Grizz sends a pine tree through their dining room window. And in the end, they are sitting around miserable with ice packs on their heads sulking while the Grizz stands outside his ruined house with his asshole cousin's dog, brimming with pride while his family sings "Auld Lang Syne" with the SWAT team that came to arrest them.
The Grizz looks at the broken windows, hears the singing and voices a single thought: "I did it."
I salute you, Clark Grizzwald! Merry Christmas.
For some reason, the jokes never get old. Every year I laugh out loud at, "It wouldn't be the Christmas season if the stores were any hooter than they are," and other classic lines that so many of my friends and family can quote in almost any situation. Except by now, I often find myself cracking up BEFORE the punch line is delivered ... in anticipation.
Last night, however, I began to think of the movie a little differently. In particular, the central character: Clark Grizzwald. It occured to me: For all the fumbles, stumbles and outright disasters that take place every time this guy tries to do ANYTHING, Clark Grizzwald is a hero for our age. TThere is a lot to respect about the man in the hockey mask with the chainsaw who assaults his neighbors out of pure desperation to give his family a nice Christmas--even though they don't seem to appreciate it on the surface.
Here's my thoughts on why we should stop mocking and start congratulating Clark W. Grizzwald:
1. He fucking cares. This man is dedicated. He does nothing small, and no amount of complaining and snickering can deter him. If his 250,000 twinkle lights don't light up the night on the first try, he gets back up on the roof and checks every bulb. While his neighbors fret over their stereo and blandly criticize; while his in-laws make jokes at his expense,Clark Grizzwald presses on unbowed. He's motivated by love for his family; every knock on the head and fall down the stairs is for them, and he doesn't bedgrudge them for it one bit.
2. He's a Romantic. In an age sorely lacking in romance, Grizz keeps the passion alive. He's got the fire down below. He's passionate about just about everything he does, whether it's taking his kids to an amusement park, putting up a Christmas tree, or hell, doing his job. When he takes the kids sledding, he tries to find a way to do it faster, better. It ends in hilarious catastrophe, but you have to admit--the man didn't settle. In between bitch slapping plastic reindeer and stalking runaway squirrels, he remembers to pick up a little lingerie for his wife. A beast breathes beneath those geeky Christmas sweaters, my friends.
3. He's kind. Sure, he's pissed off that his cousin Eddie hasn't found a job in seven years and has nothing for kids for Christmas. The fact is he can't stand Eddie on any level--but he's still going to take of Eddie's kids. That's not his problem; that's not his business; that's not his responsibility; but he makes it his problem, even though no one would fault him if he didn't--because he can. To the Grizz, doing what is right is more important than doing what is "fair." And he understand the difference. He couldn't sit right with himself if he let those kids down, whether it should be his job or not. And sure, one could say what one wants about commercialism and the darker side of gift giving, but in the story at least the gifts are symbol. The point here is compassion. He's willing to help out someone he doesn't even like, someone who is clearly taking advantage of him, because there's some kids stuck in the middle who need a little love--who need to believe in something.
4. He's responsible. Clark's "good, old-fashioned family Christmas' is a disaster. His home is literally almost destroyed and almost everything he tries to do utterly fails. People are injured. Hostages are taken. The police are called. Very little of this is his fault. Shit just happens. Cats get electrocuted. So it goes. Still ... he never once says, "It's not my fault." When his moron cousin-in-law kidnaps his boss, Clark says he'll "take the rap." He owns his mistakes, but still isn't afraid to take risks.
5. He's a bad ass. He's a little recognized aspect of Clark's character. He stands up for himself. He puts his yuppie neighbors in their place more than once. He tells his whiny father-in-law not to piss him off. He rips is boss a new one for cutting out the Christmas bonus without telling anyone. In the first Vacation movie he forces a security guard onto a roller coaster at gun point. In the European Vacation movie, he runs down and punches out an Italian mobster.
And sure, the man isn't perfect. He loses his cool. He flips out, and he goes to extremes. He threatens to sodomize his neighbor with a huge Christmas tree and calls his boss a "bag of monkey shit." But hey, he reassures us, we've all done it. And it's OK in the end.
These aspects of the Grizz are underscored by the people around him. You can see how much he cares in how much they don't, or in how they react to him. His friend at work calls him, "The last true family man." And that may be true. The yuppie neighbors are perfect foils for the Grizz. Clark believes in magic and is ready to make his own. The yuppies roll their eyes and do nothing but snipe at each other and everyone else. They have zero passion. When yuppie husband moves in for a kiss, yuppie wife puts her hands up and tells him to shower. When things go wrong, they blame each other, and yuppie boy lacks the balls to say "boo" to Clark when the Grizz sends a pine tree through their dining room window. And in the end, they are sitting around miserable with ice packs on their heads sulking while the Grizz stands outside his ruined house with his asshole cousin's dog, brimming with pride while his family sings "Auld Lang Syne" with the SWAT team that came to arrest them.
The Grizz looks at the broken windows, hears the singing and voices a single thought: "I did it."
I salute you, Clark Grizzwald! Merry Christmas.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
So it goes
Four boys got lost in a dark wood. They were separated from their group and wandered for hours and miles until one of them, the oldest, found the way out. They were cousins. They were two sets of brothers. And from that night on they called themselves the "Lost Boys."
I found a photo of them the other day while going through some boxes. They were standing together, in those very woods. One of them, the oldest wore a chapfallen face. He sad looking, sticking out his big fat bottom lip, head bowed, with his eyes on the ground. The others wore the expressions of children being photographed--as though they were barely tolerating these few moments they had to stand still. I couldn't take my eyes off this picture or these children.
I was the oldest. I wore the sad face. I do not know why. The other kids in the snapshot were my brother Danny and my cousins Max and David. My brother Danny died 20 years ago today, September 25. He was 12 My cousin David, well, I attended his funeral yesterday morning, September 24. He was 29. My cousin Max is breathing, but I fear his soul is gone nevertheless. He is still lost, and I do not expect to see him again.
September 25, 2011. Exactly 20 years since my little brother was shot.
I am thinking this night about life and death and the ways they weave through each other like flour and water in same loaf of bread. And how that doesn't really matter when blood is on the ground. I am thinking about death as a part of life, and the many ways death actually gives life meaning, and how I don't give a shit about that right now. I am pondering the dark comedic truth that the wisdom of a thousand sages means dick when you're planting a spraypainted rose on top of a coffin.
I am thinking about my own death, and how I want to be remembered. I want my daughters and my wife to think of me and simply feel warm, like a blanket is over them in the safest place they've ever been. To be their shield,always, that would be my heaven.
I hope others remember that I made them laugh, because life can be as painful as it is precious. And to bring another person joy, even fleeting joy, is a privilege. It is a victory.
I am thinking that when new life comes into this world, pain is the only certainty. That newborn might have happiness. That new person might be loved, and cared for, and thrive. Or, he or she might not. I am thinking about what determines whether a person's life has love in it or joy in it, and I realize the answer is you and I. We decide, by how much we give of ourselves. We can provide that love. We can provide that joy. We can tip the scales and make the difference. The opportunities are everywhere. All we need is another person.
I am thinking about gratitude. And being grateful for the time I had with the ones I've lost, rather than bitter over the time that got taken away. I am remembering that we are entitled to nothing. That every moment and every smile is a gift and not something we simply deserve.
I am thinking about my brother. And I realize that I am talking about death and life and chubby philosophical perceptions partly to avoid what's really on my mind. I am thinking about a picture he drew about of turtle that I still have. I am thinking about how he loved really, really bad music. I am thinking about silly games we used to play for hours on end with nothing but our imaginations and--to our parents' eternal frustration--any piece of furniture, clothing, or household item it was in our power to move. I think about sitting on the porch during thunderstorms under what my mom called "the snuggle blanket." I think about the trouble he got into, and the things I did to protect him. I think about the knock down-drag out fights we had. I think about how he loved to play with his G.I. Joes, to take them apart and make new characters out of the pieces. I think about sensitive he was, and how easy it was to hurt his feelings. I think about the skateboard he rolled around on and the little ramps he would make out of random boards and bricks. And I wish I could at least get back every faded memory of our toddlerhood and beyond.
I found a photo of them the other day while going through some boxes. They were standing together, in those very woods. One of them, the oldest wore a chapfallen face. He sad looking, sticking out his big fat bottom lip, head bowed, with his eyes on the ground. The others wore the expressions of children being photographed--as though they were barely tolerating these few moments they had to stand still. I couldn't take my eyes off this picture or these children.
I was the oldest. I wore the sad face. I do not know why. The other kids in the snapshot were my brother Danny and my cousins Max and David. My brother Danny died 20 years ago today, September 25. He was 12 My cousin David, well, I attended his funeral yesterday morning, September 24. He was 29. My cousin Max is breathing, but I fear his soul is gone nevertheless. He is still lost, and I do not expect to see him again.
September 25, 2011. Exactly 20 years since my little brother was shot.
I am thinking this night about life and death and the ways they weave through each other like flour and water in same loaf of bread. And how that doesn't really matter when blood is on the ground. I am thinking about death as a part of life, and the many ways death actually gives life meaning, and how I don't give a shit about that right now. I am pondering the dark comedic truth that the wisdom of a thousand sages means dick when you're planting a spraypainted rose on top of a coffin.
I am thinking about my own death, and how I want to be remembered. I want my daughters and my wife to think of me and simply feel warm, like a blanket is over them in the safest place they've ever been. To be their shield,always, that would be my heaven.
I hope others remember that I made them laugh, because life can be as painful as it is precious. And to bring another person joy, even fleeting joy, is a privilege. It is a victory.
I am thinking that when new life comes into this world, pain is the only certainty. That newborn might have happiness. That new person might be loved, and cared for, and thrive. Or, he or she might not. I am thinking about what determines whether a person's life has love in it or joy in it, and I realize the answer is you and I. We decide, by how much we give of ourselves. We can provide that love. We can provide that joy. We can tip the scales and make the difference. The opportunities are everywhere. All we need is another person.
I am thinking about gratitude. And being grateful for the time I had with the ones I've lost, rather than bitter over the time that got taken away. I am remembering that we are entitled to nothing. That every moment and every smile is a gift and not something we simply deserve.
I am thinking about my brother. And I realize that I am talking about death and life and chubby philosophical perceptions partly to avoid what's really on my mind. I am thinking about a picture he drew about of turtle that I still have. I am thinking about how he loved really, really bad music. I am thinking about silly games we used to play for hours on end with nothing but our imaginations and--to our parents' eternal frustration--any piece of furniture, clothing, or household item it was in our power to move. I think about sitting on the porch during thunderstorms under what my mom called "the snuggle blanket." I think about the trouble he got into, and the things I did to protect him. I think about the knock down-drag out fights we had. I think about how he loved to play with his G.I. Joes, to take them apart and make new characters out of the pieces. I think about sensitive he was, and how easy it was to hurt his feelings. I think about the skateboard he rolled around on and the little ramps he would make out of random boards and bricks. And I wish I could at least get back every faded memory of our toddlerhood and beyond.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
One?
That's a meditation too, letting the monkey mind climb and gibber and fling shit at the bars. Free, unfettered and unbroken, fat with powerful nonsense, and broke-nosed beauty, stationary wanderlust and gorgeous pain.
It seems selfish this morning to grieve, because it's not about me. I feel guilty for feeling guilty and even more guilty for writing it down.
When you don't see someone for so long, when bridges moulder and crumble over surging rivers of time, it makes it harder and easier all at once. It's easier, because you are accustomed already to the presence of that absence, but harder, because the only picture you have left is the sweet child you knew, and not the wreckage that was left in the end.
I've always been skeptical of things like reincarnation, but today I hope against hope that some people get a "do over." That they can insert more coins and try again. Let there be a heaven for the satisfied, for the whole and complete, but let the broken ones come home again. Let them see the dangerous world with new eyes. Let those whose hearts have been hardened by fear melt again into gentleness. Let those who know too much regain their innocence. Let the lonely be touched. Let them get it right, and let right be done by them.
Finally I think of a poem I heard long ago by no one famous, he said, "There are men too gentle to live among wolves." That's true of all of us perhaps, secretly, even the wolves.
I leave you with this:
Igne natura renovator integra.
Sancta simplicitas
sapers aude,
fiat lux,
de profundis
semper ardens,
semper excelsius,
sit tibi terra levis,
sic itur ad astra.
Through fire, nature is reborn whole.
Holy innocence,
dare to be wise,
let light be made,
out of the depths,
always burning,
always higher,
may the earth be light to you,
thus you shall go to the stars.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wishes
My birthday's coming up! A couple of friends have posted birthday wish lists. I am following suit:
1.An octopus with some sort of “reverse” SCUBA gear, (Perhaps SCLBA: Self-contained land breathing apparatus) so I can carry it around and show my friends. Bonus points if the octopus is wearing a bow tie.
2.A unicorn, lots and lots of panko breadcrumbs, and a huge deep fryer. I realize this is actually three items, but I included them in one line because each is useless without the others.
3.A pimped-out blimp.
4.All the children of the world joining together to sing in harmony and peace.
5.A gladiatorial arena. A polar bear. Billy Joel. Again, each is useless without the other.
6.Mars.
7.If those aren't feasible: Spend time with me. Gimme a call or a text or a hug. I like that sort of thing.
1.An octopus with some sort of “reverse” SCUBA gear, (Perhaps SCLBA: Self-contained land breathing apparatus) so I can carry it around and show my friends. Bonus points if the octopus is wearing a bow tie.
2.A unicorn, lots and lots of panko breadcrumbs, and a huge deep fryer. I realize this is actually three items, but I included them in one line because each is useless without the others.
3.A pimped-out blimp.
4.All the children of the world joining together to sing in harmony and peace.
5.A gladiatorial arena. A polar bear. Billy Joel. Again, each is useless without the other.
6.Mars.
7.If those aren't feasible: Spend time with me. Gimme a call or a text or a hug. I like that sort of thing.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Autumnal Thoughts on a Summer Afternoon
Losing a loved one is a horror. Human beings need love to survive as desperarely as we need air and food. Our culture doesn't always recognize this, but our minds, hearts, souls, and bodies always do.
Loneliness increases a person's likelihood of heart disease just as much as obesity, smoking, and genetics. Most of us have heard by now of the studies that show that babies who are not cuddled or held often die. The cause of death: "Failure to thrive." It is less often acknowledged that similar studies show that adults can also "fail to thrive," if they are lonely, and this damages their mental and physical health. We need connections to other people in order to live, and when those connections, those bonds of love, are irevocably severed--we suffer. This is natural and unavoidable.
However, it is possible--over a very long time--to transform this suffering in to something else. Here are some thoughts:
1. Remember that every day is a gift. Every moment spent with a loved one is a gift. We are not entitled to those moments. Meditate on this reality. Cultivate gratitude for the moments you did have with the person you have lost. As time progresses, and as your heart heals, this gratitude will overwhelm the initial bitterness, the initial anger, that comes with loss. This is not easy, and this is not quick. Coming to this realization took me more than 15 years after losing a very significant person in my life.
2. Our loved ones are alive in our hearts. Focus on giving them a happy home. If they are to live in your heart, take of of your heart, make it a joyous heart. Take care of yourself. Ensure that your needs are met, and allow yourself to heal. Often times, we mistake keeping pain alive for keeping their memory alive. Or view letting go of grief as a betrayal, as though our pain were a way to sustain them, or save them. The truth is they do not need saving, you need saving. I need saving. Do not let your heart be heavy with the presence of absence.
3. Cultivate new connections. Celebrate them. Enjoy them. Every individual is unique. No human being can ever replace another. When a parent loses a child, having another child will never erase the pain of that first loss. Nevertheless, they can take joy in their new child, love that child fiercely, and the soul and memory of the one they lost will swell with joy for it. Remember that a lost loved one also loves you, and seeks your joy just as you sought and seek his or hers. Do not be afraid of joy, and open yourself to others. Put your time and energy into solidifying your relationships, making the bonds closer and stronger, and cultivate new relationships. They do not have to be the same type of relationship you had with the person you lost; it can be friends, siblings, colleagues, parents, children. Make a place for yourself to live on in their hearts. Not as replacement, not as compensation, but simply because it is good.
Loneliness increases a person's likelihood of heart disease just as much as obesity, smoking, and genetics. Most of us have heard by now of the studies that show that babies who are not cuddled or held often die. The cause of death: "Failure to thrive." It is less often acknowledged that similar studies show that adults can also "fail to thrive," if they are lonely, and this damages their mental and physical health. We need connections to other people in order to live, and when those connections, those bonds of love, are irevocably severed--we suffer. This is natural and unavoidable.
However, it is possible--over a very long time--to transform this suffering in to something else. Here are some thoughts:
1. Remember that every day is a gift. Every moment spent with a loved one is a gift. We are not entitled to those moments. Meditate on this reality. Cultivate gratitude for the moments you did have with the person you have lost. As time progresses, and as your heart heals, this gratitude will overwhelm the initial bitterness, the initial anger, that comes with loss. This is not easy, and this is not quick. Coming to this realization took me more than 15 years after losing a very significant person in my life.
2. Our loved ones are alive in our hearts. Focus on giving them a happy home. If they are to live in your heart, take of of your heart, make it a joyous heart. Take care of yourself. Ensure that your needs are met, and allow yourself to heal. Often times, we mistake keeping pain alive for keeping their memory alive. Or view letting go of grief as a betrayal, as though our pain were a way to sustain them, or save them. The truth is they do not need saving, you need saving. I need saving. Do not let your heart be heavy with the presence of absence.
3. Cultivate new connections. Celebrate them. Enjoy them. Every individual is unique. No human being can ever replace another. When a parent loses a child, having another child will never erase the pain of that first loss. Nevertheless, they can take joy in their new child, love that child fiercely, and the soul and memory of the one they lost will swell with joy for it. Remember that a lost loved one also loves you, and seeks your joy just as you sought and seek his or hers. Do not be afraid of joy, and open yourself to others. Put your time and energy into solidifying your relationships, making the bonds closer and stronger, and cultivate new relationships. They do not have to be the same type of relationship you had with the person you lost; it can be friends, siblings, colleagues, parents, children. Make a place for yourself to live on in their hearts. Not as replacement, not as compensation, but simply because it is good.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Love and Marriage
So yesterday was a big day in my state. The governor approved civil partnerships. This allows gay and lesbian couples to obtain some legal/civil recognition of their relationship and have access to some of the rights to which heterosexual couples have enjoyed for a long long time.
This is a good, slow step in the right direction. Hopefully, this will be a stepping stone to full marriage equality, and hopefully my gay and lesbian friends and family will no longer be considered second-class citizens.
Now I know many hearts will palpitate and many hands will be wrung over the percieved damage to our society. Marriage, after all, is believed to be the foundation of our entire society, and if any aspect of it changes, some believe that society will come crashing down around our heads. The fact that some states already do recognize same-sex marriage without any such tearing in the social fabric does nothing to change their minds. They see marriage as a divinely ordained institution, intended for the sole purpose of producing children. Here are some of the assumptions on which that view is based:
1. Marriage is a church institution. I have heard this argument many times. "Marriage is a church institution. The church holds that homosexuality is sinful, therefore same-sex marriages cannot be valid." This assumption can be discarded in very short order. Marriage existed before the first century A.D., when Jesus was born and Christianity first began to stir. Marriage is older than any Christian church. Marriage existed in different forms in cultures all over the world, some of which had never heard of Christianity or Judaism. Also, people of other faiths get married according to their their own traditions. And people get married in entirely non-religious civil ceremonies. This has long been the case, and does not represent a departure from any tradition--it IS tradition.
It's also unclear what "church" is. "Christianity" is a collection of hundreds of denominations that disagree with each other on numerous points. Of course, many will say that's all wrong, that there is only one true version of Christianity--their own. MMMMMMMMMM-hmm.
Some of those demoninations exist for no other reason than some forward thinking or disgruntled church adherent didn't like a certain rule, so they started a new church to accomodate their view. No one seems to take issue with this as Lutheran and Anglican/Presbyterian churchs and so forth are still filling up and getting along rather peacefully. Well, nowadays anyway--in the olden days they frequently killed each other over this kind of thing, even though the Bible says not to.
They argue that the Bible forbids homosexuality, but then again, the Bible also bans the eating of shellfish and women speaking in public. Right above the celebrated passage in Leviticus that allegedly bans homosexuality, there is a divine requirement that we send a goat out into the desert to die once a year in order to appease the demons that live there.
Thankfully, we tend to ignore those rules. Religious practice and interpreation of sacred texts evolves and changes just like literally everything else, though many in some churches would be loathe to admit that. The rules that we let go tend to be those that are inconvenient for us, while the rules that we cling to tend to be the ones that allow us to feel better about ourselves or spit on people we see as different. Case in point, the aforementioned killing. All relgions call people towards compassion, towards love, towards respect for life. And believers in every religion consistently find loopholes that let them wipe out people they find pesky. But the sex rules, you know... them's the important ones, right?
"Eating shellfish is an abomination." --How silly and outdated Surely the good Lord never meant for us to take this seriously until the end of time.
"Homosexuality is an abomination." --Oh THIS one we can't change.
Right.
The fact is that marriage is not, in its origins, a religious institution. It's an economic institution. For most of human history, economies and social order were founded upon inheritance. For this to work, you had to know whose kid was whose. Marriage was the system by which society accomplished this. The tradition of marriage is actually a system in which parents traded their children between families like baseball cards for mutual economic benefit. Love had nothing to do with it until relatively recently.
Religion gets mixed up in it in two ways. First, in the Western world, for much of history the clergy were the only ones able to read and write, and therefore the only ones who could keep any records. Also, everyone from a shaman banging a drum around a campfire to the pope in Rome likes to believe that the version of society that they are most comfortable with simply must be designed by the Divine will, and anything different must be evil and dangerous. Sorry, but it isn't. We made all this up, and we can change it. Or to be more accurate--everything changes, whether we like it or not.
Marriage has changed. The first big fundamental changes took place when the idea of marrying for romantic love became popular. In traditional marriage, the parents of two families decided to get their kids together in order to improve their economic prospects. The bride and groom didn't have to like each other, most likely they were having their sexual fun on the side. The mariage was all about social appearance and money. Marriage-for-love didn't come into vogue until the late 19th-early 20th century. Read: Post-industrial revolution.
After the industrial revolution, people started going out and getting jobs from third parties and were no longer dependent upon inheritance. Therefore, they became free to marry someone they actually liked. Fidelity was now about love and respect,and no longer about making sure little Billy was legally able to inherent the farm. Because there is no reason why people of the same gender can't love and respect each other, there is also no reason why they shouldn't be able to get married.
And it bears saying, that when we talk about same-sex marriage, we are talking about civil marriage, which is separate from religous marriage. I got married in a church, but in order for it to count my wife and I also had to go down to the courthouse and get a license and so forth. Civil marriage is a function of the state, and therefore no one's religious beliefs have any relevance to it whatsoever. Religous rules apply to the people who adhere to that religion. Just like a Christian doesn't consider himself to be a bad person because he doesn't pray facing Mecca; others aren't bad people because they don't follow Christian social rules.
2. The purpose of marriage is to "legalize" or "sanctify" sexuality, which exists for the sole purpose of having children. Well--this all depends on which of the above "churches" you choose to belong to, now doesn't it? Some of them say birth control is bad, and others are OK with it. Just find the one that feels right to you or proves convenient and assume that this is the absolute will of God and you're all set, right?
In order for this to be true, couples who have been happily married for decades must not only stop having sex, but must be considered "living in sin" the moment the wife reaches menopause. Likewise, marriages in which one or both partners have a medical problem that prevents them from having children would be immediately invalid. Don't even get me started on married couples who simply choose not to have kids.
This assumption flows from the purpose of marriage as an engine for inheritance. And as inheritance gradually become less important to society and economies, the more marginal this idea will become.
Sexuality is an integral part of who and what we are, and it doesn't need legitimizing from anyone, nor does any adult need permission from a president or priest in order to do it, anymore than they need permission to breathe or eat. It is intimate, it is personal and it is solely the possession of the individual. Just as forcing someone to have sex against their will is a dehumanizing violation--so is forcing someone not to, or otherwise exerting control over their sexual freedom. Is there sexual sin? Absolutely. It involves anything that is dehumanizing or abusive. Sexual harrassment in the workplace, rape, child molestation--and the persecution of human beings by social and religious institutions on the basis of their sexuality, be it homo or hetero. That's right.
After all, in the New Testament Paul describes marriage itself as the lesser of two evils, celibacy being the only way to go. No need to have babies, he thought, because the world will end in short order. Thankfully, lots of people realized he was completely wrong. Don't worry--I am sure that's the only thing he got wrong, right?
3. Marriage is the foundation of our social order. This was true--when our social order was based on inherited social status. Now, people determine their own identities, pursue their own passions, and live in a broad variety of romantic and other types of relationships--without harming anyone. Changing marriage alters the social order only if you assume that marriage is the social order. In other words, the social order that marriage perpetuates is itself.
4. Homosexuality is unnatural. First of all, marriage itself is unnatural. It's a human invention, just like money, church, and pants. Marriages don't grow on trees, and you don't dig them out of the ground. We don't inhale or excrete them. Marriage is an institution devised by human beings. As for homosexuality, the evidence leans towards homosexuality being at least partly innate.
I say partly because it is difficult to argue that ANYTHING is solely "nature" or solely "nurture." The last 50 years of biology, genetics, and evolutionary science show us that our genetics and our environment work syngergisticly. They interact. The perfect case in point is the infant brain. In order for the mother to walk upright, she had to evolve with a relatively narrow birth canal. Meaning we had to evolve to have small-headed babies, which means they are both without fully formed brains. Brains continue to develop throughout life, forming neurons and synapses based largely on sensory experience, relationships to other humans and animals, and by die and exposure to other substances. "Nature" and nurture" work hand in hand. Try to separate them,and you are already distorting the issue. However, hormonal and other chemical distinctions--as well as the prevalence of homosexuality in almost every other animal species--suggests that some aspect of this has a physical component.
Not that it matters, even if it was purely an arbitrary choice--it's a choice people have a right to make without sacrificing any civil rights. The very notion that it is up to the heterosexual majority to decide whether or not to extend full marriage rights to LGBT individuals is an outrage.
Now, I am not against marriage. I am definitely pro-marriage. That's why I want to expand the institution to include everyone. I do not think that marriage is the ultimate end of anyone's existence. I do not think that the world will end without it. I do not think that everyone is obligated to pursue it ... but I do like it.
My third wedding anniverary is coming up. I love my wife and I love being married to her. I hold our marriage to be a sacred thing. And it is that intention to hold it sacred that makes it sacred--nothing outside of that. If we did not hold it sacred, then there would be nothing that Jesus, Buddha, George W. Bush, a whole stack of Bibles or a chunky pile of naked fertility goddesses could do to make it so. It is not sacred by default. There is nothing sacred about a man and woman going through the motions of a ceremony if their hearts aren't really into it--say if she is planning to sleep around behind is back, or if he was marrying her for her money. Just and there is nothing abominable about two people of the same sex pledging to love each other for the rest of their lives.
A couple of books could be written on this(and have been). There are lots of aspects of this issue I didn't get to touch, such as the recent data shows that married couples are no longer the majority of U.S. households, and other pertinent issues. How the cult of marriaged reached its peak in the 1950's,and the impact of women gaining some economic automony--no longer dependent on father and husbanrds. But I have other things to do, and I have made my basic point, and will now leave it open for discussion.
Talk to you later! Hang in there.
This is a good, slow step in the right direction. Hopefully, this will be a stepping stone to full marriage equality, and hopefully my gay and lesbian friends and family will no longer be considered second-class citizens.
Now I know many hearts will palpitate and many hands will be wrung over the percieved damage to our society. Marriage, after all, is believed to be the foundation of our entire society, and if any aspect of it changes, some believe that society will come crashing down around our heads. The fact that some states already do recognize same-sex marriage without any such tearing in the social fabric does nothing to change their minds. They see marriage as a divinely ordained institution, intended for the sole purpose of producing children. Here are some of the assumptions on which that view is based:
1. Marriage is a church institution. I have heard this argument many times. "Marriage is a church institution. The church holds that homosexuality is sinful, therefore same-sex marriages cannot be valid." This assumption can be discarded in very short order. Marriage existed before the first century A.D., when Jesus was born and Christianity first began to stir. Marriage is older than any Christian church. Marriage existed in different forms in cultures all over the world, some of which had never heard of Christianity or Judaism. Also, people of other faiths get married according to their their own traditions. And people get married in entirely non-religious civil ceremonies. This has long been the case, and does not represent a departure from any tradition--it IS tradition.
It's also unclear what "church" is. "Christianity" is a collection of hundreds of denominations that disagree with each other on numerous points. Of course, many will say that's all wrong, that there is only one true version of Christianity--their own. MMMMMMMMMM-hmm.
Some of those demoninations exist for no other reason than some forward thinking or disgruntled church adherent didn't like a certain rule, so they started a new church to accomodate their view. No one seems to take issue with this as Lutheran and Anglican/Presbyterian churchs and so forth are still filling up and getting along rather peacefully. Well, nowadays anyway--in the olden days they frequently killed each other over this kind of thing, even though the Bible says not to.
They argue that the Bible forbids homosexuality, but then again, the Bible also bans the eating of shellfish and women speaking in public. Right above the celebrated passage in Leviticus that allegedly bans homosexuality, there is a divine requirement that we send a goat out into the desert to die once a year in order to appease the demons that live there.
Thankfully, we tend to ignore those rules. Religious practice and interpreation of sacred texts evolves and changes just like literally everything else, though many in some churches would be loathe to admit that. The rules that we let go tend to be those that are inconvenient for us, while the rules that we cling to tend to be the ones that allow us to feel better about ourselves or spit on people we see as different. Case in point, the aforementioned killing. All relgions call people towards compassion, towards love, towards respect for life. And believers in every religion consistently find loopholes that let them wipe out people they find pesky. But the sex rules, you know... them's the important ones, right?
"Eating shellfish is an abomination." --How silly and outdated Surely the good Lord never meant for us to take this seriously until the end of time.
"Homosexuality is an abomination." --Oh THIS one we can't change.
Right.
The fact is that marriage is not, in its origins, a religious institution. It's an economic institution. For most of human history, economies and social order were founded upon inheritance. For this to work, you had to know whose kid was whose. Marriage was the system by which society accomplished this. The tradition of marriage is actually a system in which parents traded their children between families like baseball cards for mutual economic benefit. Love had nothing to do with it until relatively recently.
Religion gets mixed up in it in two ways. First, in the Western world, for much of history the clergy were the only ones able to read and write, and therefore the only ones who could keep any records. Also, everyone from a shaman banging a drum around a campfire to the pope in Rome likes to believe that the version of society that they are most comfortable with simply must be designed by the Divine will, and anything different must be evil and dangerous. Sorry, but it isn't. We made all this up, and we can change it. Or to be more accurate--everything changes, whether we like it or not.
Marriage has changed. The first big fundamental changes took place when the idea of marrying for romantic love became popular. In traditional marriage, the parents of two families decided to get their kids together in order to improve their economic prospects. The bride and groom didn't have to like each other, most likely they were having their sexual fun on the side. The mariage was all about social appearance and money. Marriage-for-love didn't come into vogue until the late 19th-early 20th century. Read: Post-industrial revolution.
After the industrial revolution, people started going out and getting jobs from third parties and were no longer dependent upon inheritance. Therefore, they became free to marry someone they actually liked. Fidelity was now about love and respect,and no longer about making sure little Billy was legally able to inherent the farm. Because there is no reason why people of the same gender can't love and respect each other, there is also no reason why they shouldn't be able to get married.
And it bears saying, that when we talk about same-sex marriage, we are talking about civil marriage, which is separate from religous marriage. I got married in a church, but in order for it to count my wife and I also had to go down to the courthouse and get a license and so forth. Civil marriage is a function of the state, and therefore no one's religious beliefs have any relevance to it whatsoever. Religous rules apply to the people who adhere to that religion. Just like a Christian doesn't consider himself to be a bad person because he doesn't pray facing Mecca; others aren't bad people because they don't follow Christian social rules.
2. The purpose of marriage is to "legalize" or "sanctify" sexuality, which exists for the sole purpose of having children. Well--this all depends on which of the above "churches" you choose to belong to, now doesn't it? Some of them say birth control is bad, and others are OK with it. Just find the one that feels right to you or proves convenient and assume that this is the absolute will of God and you're all set, right?
In order for this to be true, couples who have been happily married for decades must not only stop having sex, but must be considered "living in sin" the moment the wife reaches menopause. Likewise, marriages in which one or both partners have a medical problem that prevents them from having children would be immediately invalid. Don't even get me started on married couples who simply choose not to have kids.
This assumption flows from the purpose of marriage as an engine for inheritance. And as inheritance gradually become less important to society and economies, the more marginal this idea will become.
Sexuality is an integral part of who and what we are, and it doesn't need legitimizing from anyone, nor does any adult need permission from a president or priest in order to do it, anymore than they need permission to breathe or eat. It is intimate, it is personal and it is solely the possession of the individual. Just as forcing someone to have sex against their will is a dehumanizing violation--so is forcing someone not to, or otherwise exerting control over their sexual freedom. Is there sexual sin? Absolutely. It involves anything that is dehumanizing or abusive. Sexual harrassment in the workplace, rape, child molestation--and the persecution of human beings by social and religious institutions on the basis of their sexuality, be it homo or hetero. That's right.
After all, in the New Testament Paul describes marriage itself as the lesser of two evils, celibacy being the only way to go. No need to have babies, he thought, because the world will end in short order. Thankfully, lots of people realized he was completely wrong. Don't worry--I am sure that's the only thing he got wrong, right?
3. Marriage is the foundation of our social order. This was true--when our social order was based on inherited social status. Now, people determine their own identities, pursue their own passions, and live in a broad variety of romantic and other types of relationships--without harming anyone. Changing marriage alters the social order only if you assume that marriage is the social order. In other words, the social order that marriage perpetuates is itself.
4. Homosexuality is unnatural. First of all, marriage itself is unnatural. It's a human invention, just like money, church, and pants. Marriages don't grow on trees, and you don't dig them out of the ground. We don't inhale or excrete them. Marriage is an institution devised by human beings. As for homosexuality, the evidence leans towards homosexuality being at least partly innate.
I say partly because it is difficult to argue that ANYTHING is solely "nature" or solely "nurture." The last 50 years of biology, genetics, and evolutionary science show us that our genetics and our environment work syngergisticly. They interact. The perfect case in point is the infant brain. In order for the mother to walk upright, she had to evolve with a relatively narrow birth canal. Meaning we had to evolve to have small-headed babies, which means they are both without fully formed brains. Brains continue to develop throughout life, forming neurons and synapses based largely on sensory experience, relationships to other humans and animals, and by die and exposure to other substances. "Nature" and nurture" work hand in hand. Try to separate them,and you are already distorting the issue. However, hormonal and other chemical distinctions--as well as the prevalence of homosexuality in almost every other animal species--suggests that some aspect of this has a physical component.
Not that it matters, even if it was purely an arbitrary choice--it's a choice people have a right to make without sacrificing any civil rights. The very notion that it is up to the heterosexual majority to decide whether or not to extend full marriage rights to LGBT individuals is an outrage.
Now, I am not against marriage. I am definitely pro-marriage. That's why I want to expand the institution to include everyone. I do not think that marriage is the ultimate end of anyone's existence. I do not think that the world will end without it. I do not think that everyone is obligated to pursue it ... but I do like it.
My third wedding anniverary is coming up. I love my wife and I love being married to her. I hold our marriage to be a sacred thing. And it is that intention to hold it sacred that makes it sacred--nothing outside of that. If we did not hold it sacred, then there would be nothing that Jesus, Buddha, George W. Bush, a whole stack of Bibles or a chunky pile of naked fertility goddesses could do to make it so. It is not sacred by default. There is nothing sacred about a man and woman going through the motions of a ceremony if their hearts aren't really into it--say if she is planning to sleep around behind is back, or if he was marrying her for her money. Just and there is nothing abominable about two people of the same sex pledging to love each other for the rest of their lives.
A couple of books could be written on this(and have been). There are lots of aspects of this issue I didn't get to touch, such as the recent data shows that married couples are no longer the majority of U.S. households, and other pertinent issues. How the cult of marriaged reached its peak in the 1950's,and the impact of women gaining some economic automony--no longer dependent on father and husbanrds. But I have other things to do, and I have made my basic point, and will now leave it open for discussion.
Talk to you later! Hang in there.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Because I like books, and I like making lists...
The other day I received this request from a friend:
So, I poked around. I also did not know of any such list. Nor did Google produce one for me. Therefore, I decided to create one. Because that’s my idea of fun! That list is below. Now, let me qualify this a little bit by talking about what this list is and what it is not:
1. I compiled this list using a number of sources, including published lists by the BBC, Time magazine, NPR, and various publishers. I also used my Goodreads.com profile and my Amazon wish list. I also asked one of my college professors, years ago, for a list of important books to read that we didn’t cover in class so I could do more investigation on my own. I consulted that list as well.
2. Try not to put too much attention on the categories. These categories are fluid and debatable. I refused to break them up by genre, because that tends to become inherently hierarchical whether the list maker wants it to or not. I only broke into the most general categories I could think of because looking at long list of just titles is difficult for readers, especially on a computer screen, and I am not searching out 300 cover images just for this blog.
3. This is not a list of my favorite books. I really dislike some of these books, and there are a few that I have not read. I chose some because they represent a variety of cultures and view points, some because there is consensus on their cultural value, some because they were popular, and some because they were influential. Case in point: Tom Jones by Henry Fielding. This book is annoying. However, Fielding—along with Daniel Defoe—helped establish the conventions of the novel as a literary form and created the picaresque style of fiction. Therefore, I thought he deserved to be on this list, though I don’t think Tom Jones is the most exhilarating read. Kind of like Citizen Kane isn’t the most exciting movie to watch, but it had a huge influence on film making.
4. This is not a list of books I agree with. A wide variety of views are represented here. Anyone who wants to try to reconcile the views of say, John Kenneth Galbraith and Milton Friedman—good luck. I’ll be over here watching you go insane. Likewise, I am not saying these are the only books worth reading. They're suggestions.
5. Many selections on this list are arbitrary. For example, Charles Dickens was an important British author. I chose to represent him with A Tale of Two Cities, because I believe that to be his finest work. However, any of his books could have been on this list. I would say the same for Steinbeck. You are not a better reader if you’ve read The Grapes of Wrath rather than East of Eden, but I think that EoE is Steinbeck’s masterpiece. If anyone actually wants to use this list—then use it loosely, as a general direction rather than step-by-step instruction. I haven’t read The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien, but I have read some of this other books. But I know Carried is regarded as his most important work so I put that one on the list. There are lots of cases where things like this happened.
6. Some books on this list were chosen for their readability in comparison to other works by the same author. For example, Karl Marx has had a huge influence on world history. The best representation of his views can be found in his Das Kapital. However, Das Kapital is more dense, long, and difficult to read than anything by Hegel or even Finnegan’s Wake. So I chose to represent Marx using The Communist Manifesto, his more famous and succinct work.
7. I tried to avoid using multiple works by the same author, but in some cases I couldn’t help it. Hawthorne is an example. Anyone who wishes to be a student of American literature should probably read The Scarlet Letter. However, The Marble Faun is a better book, better and more complex story, and a better indicator of Hawthorne’s skills.
8. I tried to include as many nationalities, time periods, viewpoints, genres, and types of work and author as possible.
9. I am open to, and in fact encourage debate about this list, and I am open to updating it. In particular I think the poetry and the philosophy selections could use beefing up.
10. I am well aware that the list contains misspellings. I don’t care. I may edit for a living, but I am off duty at the moment and damn tired. Stop crabbin’ at me.
My biases:
I have a degree in English Language and Literature. I did my undergrad at Saint Xavier University and my grad work at University of Chicago. It was my intention to finish my Ph.D. and have a long career teaching literature at the college level. However, one year at U of C costs more than my four years at SXU so that dream died. I make up for it by writing things like this.
A very important word here is “English.” I primarily studied literature written in English; this includes American, English, Canadian, and Irish lit, as well as post-colonial literature from Africa, Native American tribes and other locales where English is now spoken. Therefore, my list may be heavy on English-language works because they are often the first to come to mind.
Also, my areas of concentration were the English Renaissance and Literary Critical Theory, and I specialized in cultural/historical criticism. In other words, the interpretation of literary works within their historical and cultural contexts and what they said about those time periods. So I recognize that while I consider Elizabeth Cary, Edmund Spenser, and John Webster to be incredibly important writers; someone who didn’t spend years studying Renaissance literature might feel differently. They may also have selected a few Shakespeare plays rather than “the complete works.” Although, I partly did that to make room for more authors because I didn’t want to go beyond 300 items.
I included Harold Bloom’s book The Western Canon, because it’s actually a study of how a culture decides which books are important classics and which are not. For a counterpoint, you may want to look at Debating the Canon: A Reader from Addison to Nafisi by Lee Morrissey. For those of you interested in philosophy, Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder is a wonderful synthesis of Western philosophy. It's an entertaining novel about a young girl who starts to recieve mysterious packages in the mail that contain lessons on the history of philosophy. I also recommend Books that Changed the World: The 50 Most Influential Books in Human History by Andrew Taylor.
So, for anyone who is interested here is my Uber-Yummy Book List.
Fiction:
Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen
The Lord of the Rings JRR Tolkien
A Tale of Two Cities Charles Dickens
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone JK Rowling
Snow Crash Neal Stephenson
The Hunger Games Suzanne Collins
Another Roadside Attraction Tom Robbins
The Catcher in the Rye JD Salinger
The Perks of Being a Wallflower Stephen Chbosky
Girlfriend in a Coma Douglas Coupland
Life of Pi Yann Martel
The Alchemist Paul Coelho
To a God Unknown John Steinbeck
East of Eden John Steinbeck
Watership Down Richard Adams
On the Road Jack Kerouac
Alice in Wonderland Lewis Carroll
Persepolis Marjan Sartrapi
Mrs. Dalloway Virginia Woolf
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings Maya Angelou
Johnny Got His Gun Dalton Trumbo
The Little Prince Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Fahrenheit 451 Ray Bradbury
A Stranger in a Strange Land Robert Heinlein
Neuromancer William Gibson
Ulysses James Joyce
The Three Musketeers Alexander Dumas
The Man Who Was Thursday G.K. Chesterton
The Hound of the Baskervilles Arthur Conan Doyle
The Name of the Rose Umberto Eco
Watchmen Alan Moore
The Stranger Albert Camus
The Metamorphosis Franz Kafka
The Brothers Karamazov Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Crime and Punishment Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The Bell Jar Sylvia Plath
A Wrinkle in Time Madeline L'Engle
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Douglas Adams
A Farewell to Arms Ernest Hemingway
Frankenstein Mary Shelley
The Joys of Motherhood Buchi Emecheta
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Mark Twain
A Prayer for Own Meany John Irving
Where the Wild Things Are Maurice Sendak
Steppenwolf Herman Hesse
The Marble Faun Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Scarlett Letter Nathaniel Hawthorne
Slaughterhouse-Five Kurt Vonnegut
Cat's Cradle Kurt Vonnegut
Animal Farm George Orwell
1984 George Orwell
Brave New World Aldous Huxley
The Giving Tree Shel Silverstein
Green Eggs and Ham Dr. Suess
The Razor's Edge W. Somerset Maugham
Death in Venice Thomas Mann
The Turn of the Screw Henry James
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell Susanna Clarke
American Gods Neil Gaiman
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao Junot Diaz
The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald
Don Quixote Miguel de Cervantes
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Other Stories Washington Irving
Everything is Illuminated Jonathan Safran Foer
The War of the Worlds H.G. Wells
The Woman in White Wilkie Collins
Lucky Jim Kingsley Amis
London Fields Martin Amis
Winnie the Pooh A.A. Milne
Fear of Flying Erica Jong
Tales of H.P. Lovecraft H.P. Lovecraft
The Big Sleep Raymond Chandler
The Sound and the Fury William Faulkner
Invisible Man Ralph Ellison
Beloved Toni Morrison
Their Eyes Were Watching God Zora Neal Hurston
Atlas Shrugged Ayn Rand
Jane Eyre Charlotte Bronte
The Picture of Dorian Gray Oscar Wilde
Middlemarch George Eliot
Midnight's Children Salman Rushdie
In Search of Lost Time Marcel Proust
A Clockwork Orange Anthony Burgess
The Woman Warrior Maxine Hong Kingston
The Joy Luck Club Amy Tan
Dracula Bram Stoker
Orinoco Aphra Behn
Moll Flanders William Defoe
Gulliver's Travels Jonathan Swift
The Master and Margherita Mikhail Bulgarov
Tess of the D'Urbervilles Thomas Hardy
The Things They Carried Tim O'Brien
Foundation Isaac Asimov
The Jungle Upton Sinclair
Utopia Thomas More
Things Fall Apart Chinua Achebe
The Way to Rainy Mountain M. Scott Momaday
Heart of Darkness Joseph Conrad
The Archaeology of Knowledge Michael Foucault
Essays in Existentialism Jean-Paul Sartre
Beyond Good and Evil Friederich Nietzche
The Chronicles of Narnia C.S. Lewis
Less Than Zero Brett Easton-Ellis
The Road Cormac McCarthy
To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee
One Hundred Years of Solitude Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The Handmaid's Tale Margaret Atwood
Lord of the Flies William Golding
Dune Frank Herbert
Lolita Vladimir Nabokov
The Color Purple Alice Walker
Brideshead Revisited Evelyn Waugh
Howard's End E.M. Forester
Bartleby The Scrivener and Other Stories Herman Melville
Ender's Game Orson Scott Card
The Stand Stephen King
All Quiet on the Western Front Erich Maria Remarche
Madame Bovary Gustav Flaubert
Lady Chatterley’s Lover D. H. Lawrence
The Canterbury Tales Geoffrey Chaucer
The Human Stain Philip Roth
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea Jules Verne
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Philip K. Dick
Murder on the Orient Express Agatha Christie
Aesop's Fables Aesop
The Arabian Nights
Tropic of Cancer Henry Miller
Ficciones Jorge Luis Borges
Bridge to Terabithia Katherine Patterson
Charlotte's Web E.B. White
Candide Voltaire
Waiting for the Barbarians J.M. Coetzee
A Small Place Jamaica Kincaid
Native Son Richard Wright
The Clan of the Cave Bear Jean Auel
Les Miserables Victor Hugo
The Yellow Wallpaper Charlotte Perkins Gilman
The Decameron Boccaccio
Morte D'Arthur Thomas Malory
A Good Man is Hard to Find Flannery O'Connor
Tom Jones Henry Fielding
The Golden Ass Apuleius
So Far From God Ana Castillo
The Eye of the World Robert Jordan
The Wizards of Earthsea Ursula LeGuin
The Princess Bride William Goldman
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz L. Frank Baum
His Dark Materials Philip Pullman
Elric of Melninbone Michael Moorcock
2001: A Space Odyssey Arthur C. Clarke
Infinite Jest David Foster Wallace
Nonfiction:
The Undiscovered Self Karl Jung
The Omnivore's Dilemma Michael Pollen
The Devil in the White City Erik Larsen
Man's Search for Meaning Victor Frankl
The Great Transformation Karen Armstrong
Reviving Ophelia Mary Pipher
A Room of One's Own Virginia Woolf
The Lives of a Cell Lewis Thomas
A Brief History of Time Stephen Hawking
Hiroshima John Hershey
Hope Dies Last Studs Terkel
All the President's Men Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein
Night Elie Weisel
Black Elk Speaks John Reinhardt Neibur
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee Dee Brown
A Vindication of the Rights of Women Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Hunter S. Thompson
The Diary of a Young Girl Ann Frank
Full Exposure Susie Bright
Loneliness John Cacioppo
A Short History of Nearly Everything Bill Bryson
Mysteries of the Middle Ages Thomas Cahill
Three Cups of Tea Glen Mortensen
The Affluent Society John Kenneth Galbraith
Cosmos Carl Sagan
The Death and Life of the Great American Cities Jane Jacobs
The Hero with a Thousand Faces Joseph Campbell
The Wealth of Nations Adam Smith
In Cold Blood Truman Capote
Guns, Germs, and Steel Jared Diamond
The Doors of Perception Aldous Huxley
The Praise of Folly Erasmus
The Prince Nicolo Machiavelli
Amusing Ourselves to Death Neil Postman
The Interpretation of Dreams Sigmund Freud
Power, Politics and Culture Edward Said
The Federalist Papers Alexander Hamilton, et. al
Confessions Jean-Jacques Rousseau
On Language Noam Chomsky
The Double Helix James Watson and Francis Crick
On the Origin of the Species Charles Darwin
The Captive Mind Czelaw Milosz
The Way of Zen Alan Watts
The Varieties of Religious Experience William James
A Short Account of the Destruction of the Indies Bartleme de Las Casas
Chaos James Gleick
The Joy of Sex Alex Comfort
The Silent Spring Rachel Carson
The Feminine Mystique Betty Friedan
The Histories Herodotus
Ideas & Opinions Albert Einstein
A History of Reading Alberto Manguel
Nickel and Dimed Barbara Einrenreich
Darkness Visible William Styron
The Life and Death of Dith Pran Sydney Schanberg
Pilgrim at Tinker Creek Annie Dillard
Out of Africa Isak Dinesen
The Western Canon Harold Bloom
American Gay Stephen Murray
The Golden Bough James Frazier
The Purpose-Driven Life Rick Warren
The Gulag Archipelago Alexander Solzhenitsyn
Capitalism and Freedom Milton Friedman
Sociobiology Edward O. Wilson
The Feynman Lectures on Physics Richard Feynman
Poetry and the Age Randall Jarrell
The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test Tom Wolfe
Freakonomics Stephen Leavitt
Norman MacClean A River Runs Through It
The Art of Happiness The Dalai Lama
A People's History of the United States Howard Zinn
Founding Brothers Joseph Ellis
Freethinkers: A History of American Secularism Susan Jacoby
Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All American Meal Eric Schlosser
Lipstick Traces: A Secret History of the 20th Century Greil Marcus
No Logo Noami Klein
The Worldly Shipmates Sarah Vowell
Kon-Tiki Thor Heyerderal
Religious-Spiritual Texts/Philosophy:
The Bible
The Koran
The Essays Michel de Montaigne
The Republic Plato
The Art of War Sun Tzu
The Bhagavad-Gita
The Dhamapadha
The Upanishads
Walden Henry David Thoreau
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance Robert Pirsig
Pronoia Rob Brezny
Common Sense Thomas Paine
The Letters of Abelard and Heloise Abelard and Heloise
Confessions Augustine of Hippo
Critique of Judgment Immanuel Kant
Leviathan Thomas Hobbes
The Communist Manifesto Karl Marx and Frederich Engles
Poetics Aristotle
The Nichomachean Ethics Aristotle
Meditations Marcus Aurelius
Analects Confucius
Tao te Ching Lao Tzu
Ethics Baruch Spinoza
Writing and Difference Jacques Derrida
Fear and Trembling Soren Kierkegaard
The Open Society and Its Enemies Karl Popper
Poetry/Drama
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare William Shakespeare
The Prophet Kalil Gibhran
Leaves of Grass Walt Whitman
Chicago Poems Carl Sandburg
Howl and Other Poems Allen Ginsburg
The Waste Land and Other Poems T.S. Eliot
The Odyssey Homer
The Iliad Homer
The Aneid Virgil
Metamorphoses Ovid
Songs of Innocence and Songs of Experience William Blake
The Lyrical Ballads William Wordsworth and Samuel Taylor Coleridge
The War Prayer Mark Twain
La Fleur du Mal Charles Baudelaire
Ghosts Henrik Ibsen
The Complete Poems Arthur Rimbaud
Faust Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
The Jew of Malta Christopher Marlowe
The Divine Comedy Dante
The Wild Duck Henrik Ibsen
The Complete Poems Elizabeth Bishop
Uncle Vanya Anton Chekov
The Malcontent John Marston
View with a Grain of Sand Wisoslaw Szymborska
Selected Poems W.B. Yeats
Cyrano de Bergerac Edmond de Rostand
The Crucible Arthur Miller
Beowulf
Paradise Lost John Milton
The Poetry of Pablo Neruda Pablo Neruda
Lysistrata Aristophanes
The Orestia Aeschylus
Waiting for Godot Samuel Beckett
Mother Courage and Her Children Berthold Brecht
The Tragedy of Mariam Elizabeth Cary
Gargantua and Pantagruel François Rabelais
Volpone Ben Jonson
The Spanish Tragedy Thomas Kyd
The Duchess of Malfi John Webster
Open Ground Seamus Heaney
The Fairie Queen Edmund Spenser
A Streetcar Named Desire Tennessee Williams
Pygmalion George Bernard Shaw
Oedipus Rex Sophocles
Hey Jim, I was tossing around an idea, and thought that you'd be the perfect person to ask about it. I've read a lot of books on various "Great Books" type lists, but there's also a lot I haven't read. I was wanting to work through a list (or major parts thereof) that includes a range of genres including traditional "Great Works," modern and post-modern fiction, nonfiction, history, horror, sci-fi, etc. For example, Lovecraft should be on the list, Asimov's Foundation series should be on the list, the Iliad should be on the list, various Vonnegut goodies should be on the list, etc.
However, I know of no such list. :( Do you know of any reading list that might span this range of genres of great works?
So, I poked around. I also did not know of any such list. Nor did Google produce one for me. Therefore, I decided to create one. Because that’s my idea of fun! That list is below. Now, let me qualify this a little bit by talking about what this list is and what it is not:
1. I compiled this list using a number of sources, including published lists by the BBC, Time magazine, NPR, and various publishers. I also used my Goodreads.com profile and my Amazon wish list. I also asked one of my college professors, years ago, for a list of important books to read that we didn’t cover in class so I could do more investigation on my own. I consulted that list as well.
2. Try not to put too much attention on the categories. These categories are fluid and debatable. I refused to break them up by genre, because that tends to become inherently hierarchical whether the list maker wants it to or not. I only broke into the most general categories I could think of because looking at long list of just titles is difficult for readers, especially on a computer screen, and I am not searching out 300 cover images just for this blog.
3. This is not a list of my favorite books. I really dislike some of these books, and there are a few that I have not read. I chose some because they represent a variety of cultures and view points, some because there is consensus on their cultural value, some because they were popular, and some because they were influential. Case in point: Tom Jones by Henry Fielding. This book is annoying. However, Fielding—along with Daniel Defoe—helped establish the conventions of the novel as a literary form and created the picaresque style of fiction. Therefore, I thought he deserved to be on this list, though I don’t think Tom Jones is the most exhilarating read. Kind of like Citizen Kane isn’t the most exciting movie to watch, but it had a huge influence on film making.
4. This is not a list of books I agree with. A wide variety of views are represented here. Anyone who wants to try to reconcile the views of say, John Kenneth Galbraith and Milton Friedman—good luck. I’ll be over here watching you go insane. Likewise, I am not saying these are the only books worth reading. They're suggestions.
5. Many selections on this list are arbitrary. For example, Charles Dickens was an important British author. I chose to represent him with A Tale of Two Cities, because I believe that to be his finest work. However, any of his books could have been on this list. I would say the same for Steinbeck. You are not a better reader if you’ve read The Grapes of Wrath rather than East of Eden, but I think that EoE is Steinbeck’s masterpiece. If anyone actually wants to use this list—then use it loosely, as a general direction rather than step-by-step instruction. I haven’t read The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien, but I have read some of this other books. But I know Carried is regarded as his most important work so I put that one on the list. There are lots of cases where things like this happened.
6. Some books on this list were chosen for their readability in comparison to other works by the same author. For example, Karl Marx has had a huge influence on world history. The best representation of his views can be found in his Das Kapital. However, Das Kapital is more dense, long, and difficult to read than anything by Hegel or even Finnegan’s Wake. So I chose to represent Marx using The Communist Manifesto, his more famous and succinct work.
7. I tried to avoid using multiple works by the same author, but in some cases I couldn’t help it. Hawthorne is an example. Anyone who wishes to be a student of American literature should probably read The Scarlet Letter. However, The Marble Faun is a better book, better and more complex story, and a better indicator of Hawthorne’s skills.
8. I tried to include as many nationalities, time periods, viewpoints, genres, and types of work and author as possible.
9. I am open to, and in fact encourage debate about this list, and I am open to updating it. In particular I think the poetry and the philosophy selections could use beefing up.
10. I am well aware that the list contains misspellings. I don’t care. I may edit for a living, but I am off duty at the moment and damn tired. Stop crabbin’ at me.
My biases:
I have a degree in English Language and Literature. I did my undergrad at Saint Xavier University and my grad work at University of Chicago. It was my intention to finish my Ph.D. and have a long career teaching literature at the college level. However, one year at U of C costs more than my four years at SXU so that dream died. I make up for it by writing things like this.
A very important word here is “English.” I primarily studied literature written in English; this includes American, English, Canadian, and Irish lit, as well as post-colonial literature from Africa, Native American tribes and other locales where English is now spoken. Therefore, my list may be heavy on English-language works because they are often the first to come to mind.
Also, my areas of concentration were the English Renaissance and Literary Critical Theory, and I specialized in cultural/historical criticism. In other words, the interpretation of literary works within their historical and cultural contexts and what they said about those time periods. So I recognize that while I consider Elizabeth Cary, Edmund Spenser, and John Webster to be incredibly important writers; someone who didn’t spend years studying Renaissance literature might feel differently. They may also have selected a few Shakespeare plays rather than “the complete works.” Although, I partly did that to make room for more authors because I didn’t want to go beyond 300 items.
I included Harold Bloom’s book The Western Canon, because it’s actually a study of how a culture decides which books are important classics and which are not. For a counterpoint, you may want to look at Debating the Canon: A Reader from Addison to Nafisi by Lee Morrissey. For those of you interested in philosophy, Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder is a wonderful synthesis of Western philosophy. It's an entertaining novel about a young girl who starts to recieve mysterious packages in the mail that contain lessons on the history of philosophy. I also recommend Books that Changed the World: The 50 Most Influential Books in Human History by Andrew Taylor.
So, for anyone who is interested here is my Uber-Yummy Book List.
Fiction:
Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen
The Lord of the Rings JRR Tolkien
A Tale of Two Cities Charles Dickens
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone JK Rowling
Snow Crash Neal Stephenson
The Hunger Games Suzanne Collins
Another Roadside Attraction Tom Robbins
The Catcher in the Rye JD Salinger
The Perks of Being a Wallflower Stephen Chbosky
Girlfriend in a Coma Douglas Coupland
Life of Pi Yann Martel
The Alchemist Paul Coelho
To a God Unknown John Steinbeck
East of Eden John Steinbeck
Watership Down Richard Adams
On the Road Jack Kerouac
Alice in Wonderland Lewis Carroll
Persepolis Marjan Sartrapi
Mrs. Dalloway Virginia Woolf
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings Maya Angelou
Johnny Got His Gun Dalton Trumbo
The Little Prince Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Fahrenheit 451 Ray Bradbury
A Stranger in a Strange Land Robert Heinlein
Neuromancer William Gibson
Ulysses James Joyce
The Three Musketeers Alexander Dumas
The Man Who Was Thursday G.K. Chesterton
The Hound of the Baskervilles Arthur Conan Doyle
The Name of the Rose Umberto Eco
Watchmen Alan Moore
The Stranger Albert Camus
The Metamorphosis Franz Kafka
The Brothers Karamazov Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Crime and Punishment Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The Bell Jar Sylvia Plath
A Wrinkle in Time Madeline L'Engle
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Douglas Adams
A Farewell to Arms Ernest Hemingway
Frankenstein Mary Shelley
The Joys of Motherhood Buchi Emecheta
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Mark Twain
A Prayer for Own Meany John Irving
Where the Wild Things Are Maurice Sendak
Steppenwolf Herman Hesse
The Marble Faun Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Scarlett Letter Nathaniel Hawthorne
Slaughterhouse-Five Kurt Vonnegut
Cat's Cradle Kurt Vonnegut
Animal Farm George Orwell
1984 George Orwell
Brave New World Aldous Huxley
The Giving Tree Shel Silverstein
Green Eggs and Ham Dr. Suess
The Razor's Edge W. Somerset Maugham
Death in Venice Thomas Mann
The Turn of the Screw Henry James
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell Susanna Clarke
American Gods Neil Gaiman
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao Junot Diaz
The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald
Don Quixote Miguel de Cervantes
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Other Stories Washington Irving
Everything is Illuminated Jonathan Safran Foer
The War of the Worlds H.G. Wells
The Woman in White Wilkie Collins
Lucky Jim Kingsley Amis
London Fields Martin Amis
Winnie the Pooh A.A. Milne
Fear of Flying Erica Jong
Tales of H.P. Lovecraft H.P. Lovecraft
The Big Sleep Raymond Chandler
The Sound and the Fury William Faulkner
Invisible Man Ralph Ellison
Beloved Toni Morrison
Their Eyes Were Watching God Zora Neal Hurston
Atlas Shrugged Ayn Rand
Jane Eyre Charlotte Bronte
The Picture of Dorian Gray Oscar Wilde
Middlemarch George Eliot
Midnight's Children Salman Rushdie
In Search of Lost Time Marcel Proust
A Clockwork Orange Anthony Burgess
The Woman Warrior Maxine Hong Kingston
The Joy Luck Club Amy Tan
Dracula Bram Stoker
Orinoco Aphra Behn
Moll Flanders William Defoe
Gulliver's Travels Jonathan Swift
The Master and Margherita Mikhail Bulgarov
Tess of the D'Urbervilles Thomas Hardy
The Things They Carried Tim O'Brien
Foundation Isaac Asimov
The Jungle Upton Sinclair
Utopia Thomas More
Things Fall Apart Chinua Achebe
The Way to Rainy Mountain M. Scott Momaday
Heart of Darkness Joseph Conrad
The Archaeology of Knowledge Michael Foucault
Essays in Existentialism Jean-Paul Sartre
Beyond Good and Evil Friederich Nietzche
The Chronicles of Narnia C.S. Lewis
Less Than Zero Brett Easton-Ellis
The Road Cormac McCarthy
To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee
One Hundred Years of Solitude Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The Handmaid's Tale Margaret Atwood
Lord of the Flies William Golding
Dune Frank Herbert
Lolita Vladimir Nabokov
The Color Purple Alice Walker
Brideshead Revisited Evelyn Waugh
Howard's End E.M. Forester
Bartleby The Scrivener and Other Stories Herman Melville
Ender's Game Orson Scott Card
The Stand Stephen King
All Quiet on the Western Front Erich Maria Remarche
Madame Bovary Gustav Flaubert
Lady Chatterley’s Lover D. H. Lawrence
The Canterbury Tales Geoffrey Chaucer
The Human Stain Philip Roth
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea Jules Verne
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Philip K. Dick
Murder on the Orient Express Agatha Christie
Aesop's Fables Aesop
The Arabian Nights
Tropic of Cancer Henry Miller
Ficciones Jorge Luis Borges
Bridge to Terabithia Katherine Patterson
Charlotte's Web E.B. White
Candide Voltaire
Waiting for the Barbarians J.M. Coetzee
A Small Place Jamaica Kincaid
Native Son Richard Wright
The Clan of the Cave Bear Jean Auel
Les Miserables Victor Hugo
The Yellow Wallpaper Charlotte Perkins Gilman
The Decameron Boccaccio
Morte D'Arthur Thomas Malory
A Good Man is Hard to Find Flannery O'Connor
Tom Jones Henry Fielding
The Golden Ass Apuleius
So Far From God Ana Castillo
The Eye of the World Robert Jordan
The Wizards of Earthsea Ursula LeGuin
The Princess Bride William Goldman
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz L. Frank Baum
His Dark Materials Philip Pullman
Elric of Melninbone Michael Moorcock
2001: A Space Odyssey Arthur C. Clarke
Infinite Jest David Foster Wallace
Nonfiction:
The Undiscovered Self Karl Jung
The Omnivore's Dilemma Michael Pollen
The Devil in the White City Erik Larsen
Man's Search for Meaning Victor Frankl
The Great Transformation Karen Armstrong
Reviving Ophelia Mary Pipher
A Room of One's Own Virginia Woolf
The Lives of a Cell Lewis Thomas
A Brief History of Time Stephen Hawking
Hiroshima John Hershey
Hope Dies Last Studs Terkel
All the President's Men Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein
Night Elie Weisel
Black Elk Speaks John Reinhardt Neibur
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee Dee Brown
A Vindication of the Rights of Women Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Hunter S. Thompson
The Diary of a Young Girl Ann Frank
Full Exposure Susie Bright
Loneliness John Cacioppo
A Short History of Nearly Everything Bill Bryson
Mysteries of the Middle Ages Thomas Cahill
Three Cups of Tea Glen Mortensen
The Affluent Society John Kenneth Galbraith
Cosmos Carl Sagan
The Death and Life of the Great American Cities Jane Jacobs
The Hero with a Thousand Faces Joseph Campbell
The Wealth of Nations Adam Smith
In Cold Blood Truman Capote
Guns, Germs, and Steel Jared Diamond
The Doors of Perception Aldous Huxley
The Praise of Folly Erasmus
The Prince Nicolo Machiavelli
Amusing Ourselves to Death Neil Postman
The Interpretation of Dreams Sigmund Freud
Power, Politics and Culture Edward Said
The Federalist Papers Alexander Hamilton, et. al
Confessions Jean-Jacques Rousseau
On Language Noam Chomsky
The Double Helix James Watson and Francis Crick
On the Origin of the Species Charles Darwin
The Captive Mind Czelaw Milosz
The Way of Zen Alan Watts
The Varieties of Religious Experience William James
A Short Account of the Destruction of the Indies Bartleme de Las Casas
Chaos James Gleick
The Joy of Sex Alex Comfort
The Silent Spring Rachel Carson
The Feminine Mystique Betty Friedan
The Histories Herodotus
Ideas & Opinions Albert Einstein
A History of Reading Alberto Manguel
Nickel and Dimed Barbara Einrenreich
Darkness Visible William Styron
The Life and Death of Dith Pran Sydney Schanberg
Pilgrim at Tinker Creek Annie Dillard
Out of Africa Isak Dinesen
The Western Canon Harold Bloom
American Gay Stephen Murray
The Golden Bough James Frazier
The Purpose-Driven Life Rick Warren
The Gulag Archipelago Alexander Solzhenitsyn
Capitalism and Freedom Milton Friedman
Sociobiology Edward O. Wilson
The Feynman Lectures on Physics Richard Feynman
Poetry and the Age Randall Jarrell
The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test Tom Wolfe
Freakonomics Stephen Leavitt
Norman MacClean A River Runs Through It
The Art of Happiness The Dalai Lama
A People's History of the United States Howard Zinn
Founding Brothers Joseph Ellis
Freethinkers: A History of American Secularism Susan Jacoby
Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All American Meal Eric Schlosser
Lipstick Traces: A Secret History of the 20th Century Greil Marcus
No Logo Noami Klein
The Worldly Shipmates Sarah Vowell
Kon-Tiki Thor Heyerderal
Religious-Spiritual Texts/Philosophy:
The Bible
The Koran
The Essays Michel de Montaigne
The Republic Plato
The Art of War Sun Tzu
The Bhagavad-Gita
The Dhamapadha
The Upanishads
Walden Henry David Thoreau
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance Robert Pirsig
Pronoia Rob Brezny
Common Sense Thomas Paine
The Letters of Abelard and Heloise Abelard and Heloise
Confessions Augustine of Hippo
Critique of Judgment Immanuel Kant
Leviathan Thomas Hobbes
The Communist Manifesto Karl Marx and Frederich Engles
Poetics Aristotle
The Nichomachean Ethics Aristotle
Meditations Marcus Aurelius
Analects Confucius
Tao te Ching Lao Tzu
Ethics Baruch Spinoza
Writing and Difference Jacques Derrida
Fear and Trembling Soren Kierkegaard
The Open Society and Its Enemies Karl Popper
Poetry/Drama
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare William Shakespeare
The Prophet Kalil Gibhran
Leaves of Grass Walt Whitman
Chicago Poems Carl Sandburg
Howl and Other Poems Allen Ginsburg
The Waste Land and Other Poems T.S. Eliot
The Odyssey Homer
The Iliad Homer
The Aneid Virgil
Metamorphoses Ovid
Songs of Innocence and Songs of Experience William Blake
The Lyrical Ballads William Wordsworth and Samuel Taylor Coleridge
The War Prayer Mark Twain
La Fleur du Mal Charles Baudelaire
Ghosts Henrik Ibsen
The Complete Poems Arthur Rimbaud
Faust Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
The Jew of Malta Christopher Marlowe
The Divine Comedy Dante
The Wild Duck Henrik Ibsen
The Complete Poems Elizabeth Bishop
Uncle Vanya Anton Chekov
The Malcontent John Marston
View with a Grain of Sand Wisoslaw Szymborska
Selected Poems W.B. Yeats
Cyrano de Bergerac Edmond de Rostand
The Crucible Arthur Miller
Beowulf
Paradise Lost John Milton
The Poetry of Pablo Neruda Pablo Neruda
Lysistrata Aristophanes
The Orestia Aeschylus
Waiting for Godot Samuel Beckett
Mother Courage and Her Children Berthold Brecht
The Tragedy of Mariam Elizabeth Cary
Gargantua and Pantagruel François Rabelais
Volpone Ben Jonson
The Spanish Tragedy Thomas Kyd
The Duchess of Malfi John Webster
Open Ground Seamus Heaney
The Fairie Queen Edmund Spenser
A Streetcar Named Desire Tennessee Williams
Pygmalion George Bernard Shaw
Oedipus Rex Sophocles
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